The Unquiet Castle
by beeayy
Summary: Third in the "Friday Knights" series. AU from S3. Gwaine, Leon and Merlin are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will they react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them?
1. Chapter 1

_**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **__This is the third story in the _Friday Knights_ series, an Alternate Universe from the end of Season 3 of _Merlin_ based on a play-by-post roleplaying game combining the creative machinations of May Glenn, Caitydid, and me! _

_**WARNINGS**__: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash. _

**_Previous Stories:_**_ The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)_

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE  
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_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date. _

…

Sir Lancelot was surveying the castle early in the morning. Sir Leon had taken to calling training exercises at later hours, probably to accommodate the tendencies of his co-Steward, Sir Gwaine, who was rarely at his best before noon, so Lancelot knew he had a few hours at least to poke around.

That Round Table he and the boys were planning on bringing in as a wedding gift for the King and Queen had to go somewhere.

It had been Gwaine's idea: surprising because of the blatant sentimentality of the gift, unsurprising because he clearly hadn't thought how ridiculously impractical it would be to obtain, bring to the castle, and find space for. But Leon had been the only one frightened by the logistics of it, while Elyan and Percival had jumped on the idea of a proper quest, and Lancelot appreciated it as a token remembrance of the day Arthur had knighted them all.

The quest had been uneventful, except for the underestimation of how heavy the bloody thing was. It broke two carts on the way in, a few mules went lame, and in the end they all had to put their backs into it to get it up the last hill to Camelot. So it would have an amusing story-no doubt embellished by Gwaine-when Arthur received it. And then, of course, when they got it up to the main doors they made the unfortunate realization that the door was too small!

Needless to say, the knights agreed unanimously to leave it on the porch until a more suitable location with easier access could be found.

Which is why Lancelot was poking around the castle with a length of rope that had been cut to the exact diameter of the table: if the rope, drawn to its full length, could make it through a given door, Lancelot knew they could get the table through it.

The Great Hall was probably the best place for it, and if they took it through the back way and tilted it to get it through the door, they could just get it in. However it was, Lancelot admitted, something of an eyesore just off to the side-not to mention nigh impossible to move aside for feasts and dances and ceremonies and things.

There were, however, a few side-rooms, war-rooms, council chambers, etc., which, if the table fit, would be a fitting symbol for-

And which, apparently, as Lancelot muscled a dusty door open, no one ever went in. Or cleaned, for that matter. He was sure all of these rooms were used somehow. This one seemed to be used for storage. Lancelot consulted the door with his string, pleased to discover that the table would only need to be tilted slightly to fit inside.

Lancelot frowned at the cobwebs and miscellaneous furniture. Didn't they have cupboards for this kind of stuff? Well.

He checked outside. It wasn't midday yet, so he had some time. He could at least sort through it all, and have the servants organize, store, and chuck the rest. He sneezed. And have them dust.

The rickety bookshelf full of old tomes certainly belonged in the library, and Geoffrey could sort through it. Still. Lancelot was a great admirer of poetry, and the red-leather-bound folio as good as called his name, demanding to be perused. He plucked it from the shelf: _A Gode Boke of_-but there the letters had smudged out (though he thought he recognized a "P"), and a few pages were missing. From what he could gather, flipping through the weathered pages, it was full of love poetry:

_One love feeds the fire  
>One heart burns desire<br>I wonder, who is crying now?..._

Ah, this was good stuff! Lancelot had been in a bit of a rut, recently, and no one and nothing could fill his mind but a certain Queen whose heart belonged to another. Mostly to keep himself from weeping, he read out loud-

_"Two hearts born to run  
>Who'll be the lonely one?<br>I wonder, who is crying now?"_

Lancelot spent the next several hours reading, and it was not until he heard the chimes ring out calling for training that he realized how quickly the time had passed. "Oh!" he started with a cry, and, clutching the book to him, ran to find a servant.

"We need that lot cleaned out today," Lancelot said, pointing toward the anteroom in question, in his own gentle, unaccusing way of asking-not-ordering. "Take as many people as you need. The books go to Geoffrey, find a cupboard to store the furniture in, and chuck the rest as you like. Come and get me when you've done, I'll be at the training grounds. Thank you!" he added as he ran off.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **__This is the third story in the _Friday Knights_ series, an Alternate Universe from the end of Season 3 of _Merlin_ based on a play-by-post roleplaying game combining the creative machinations of May Glenn, Caitydid, and me! _

_**WARNINGS**__: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash. _

**_Previous Stories: _**

_The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)_

…

"I'll get these sword boxes, Merlin. No—it's no trouble, I could do with bigger arms."

Leon gave Merlin a grin as Merlin laughed, and carried one of the sword boxes onto the training field in his arms. Percival also offered to help Merlin carry equipment to the training field, and to Leon's chagrin he picked up the other two boxes in one hand each. Sometimes Leon noticed that Percival got up earlier than he himself did, just to lift weights—weights being whatever he could find. Once, Leon saw him doing push-ups with Merlin sitting on his back. But most of the knights found it easier to bulk up than Leon did. Oh, he could do push-ups with the rest of them, but he spent more time running and practicing footwork than increasing the diameter of his biceps. It was what he was used to doing, but such exercises didn't make him all too keen to work out in front of a crowd.

Especially on a warm day like this. Leon scratched at his beard, quite warm already as he set the sword box down. There were a lot of new soldiers today, as well. Arthur would be knighting the better ones soon, and Leon wanted to see who he ought to recommend to the young King. They also appeared uncomfortable in the heat, and fidgeted restlessly, looking like they wouldn't get into formation without a lot of yelling. The morning was so warm, in fact, that a small crowd began to gather in the first rows of the stadium. It was mostly young kids clambering about on the benches with their wooden swords, and a few injured soldiers who were still recuperating, and…

Oh, no…

"Here, Leon, isn't that your girlfriend?" Percival said, nodding in the direction of a covy of young noblewomen who sat down to watch. One of them was Lady Elaine.

"You've been at the leftover ale, Percy," Leon said, trying to hide his embarrassment with humor. But he caught her eye nonetheless. She waved at him, and he put a hand up, trying to look dashing as he did so. She giggled and whispered something to one of the other ladies, who in turn also laughed. Leon gulped and turned away quickly.

"Hey, hey, Leon! Your lucky day! Ready to show off some of your moves for the ladies?"

Leon groaned inwardly as Gwaine clapped him on the shoulder. "We're here to train, Sir Gwaine, not to show off," Leon replied.

"Can't you do both?"

"No." he opened one of the sword boxes. "Are the candidates for knighthood all here?"

But Gwaine seemed determined to not let him change the subject. "Never understood why women like watching men beat each other up. Not that I'm complaining." Suddenly he grabbed Leon's arm and started jumping up and down. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Leon! Leon—take your shirt off!"

Leon instantly turned beet red. "I beg your pardon?"

"Let her see those rippling abs!" he tugged at the shirt. "Don't be so shy!"

"No!"

"Look, I'll take mine off. There," Gwaine grinned as his heroic naked chest gleamed in the sunlight. "Now you do it."

"Look, if you think I'm going to take off my shirt just to—"

"Oh, are we taking off our shirts?"

Leon and Gwaine turned to see Bors peeling off his shirt with relish, revealing his well-tanned back and shoulders. Other knights began to voice their approval of the trend and followed suit.

"Come on, Leon," Elyan said, "You could do with some sun."

"Wait—" Leon stammered, thoroughly intimidated, "Alright, you lot, that's not what I—"

"SHIRTS VERSUS SKINS!" This shout came from Percival, who ripped off his shirt and promptly tackled Leon to the ground.

"Percival!" Gwaine shouted, aghast, until he was tackled by a still-shirted Lancelot. In a few seconds the group of knights and soldiers were wrestling in the dirt like kids. That seemed to suit Gwaine just fine, after he managed to pull his face out of the dirt, but it took Leon another half an hour to corral everyone into formation, and by that time they all looked absolutely terrible. Leon didn't dare look in Elaine's direction again more than once, but when he did he saw her smiling just like before. She seemed particularly difficult to disappoint.

"This is *not* how knights behave themselves!" he said to the group, and, glaring at Gwaine in particular, added, "Especially knights of the Round Table."

This elicited some snickers from the younger soldiers. "'Scuse me, Sir—but you might want to get your nice round table out from under all them chickens, right?"

The soldiers again chuckled as Leon glanced at the table. Indeed, a few chickens were perched on it, looking irritatingly smug.

"Yes, Godwin, thank you for pointing that out," Leon said, pinching the bridge of his nose. At that moment a troop of castle servants came out of one of the few doors the table could possible fit through and crossed towards them.

"Excuse me, Sir Lancelot! Sorry to interrupt, but we've got that room cleared out, Sir. It's all ready for the table to be moved in."

"Good, thank you," Lancelot said.

"About time!" the soldier called Godwin said to one of his friends, and added, in a whisper that was nothing like a whisper, "That table's got more shit on it than Merlin after he's mucked out the horses!"

Some of the soldiers laughed, all of the children watching did, and the ladies in the stands looked uncomfortable.

"Godwin!" Leon called out loudly. "I believe I just heard you volunteer to move the table inside for us, and to scrub it down when you've finished. Five of you can help him. Sir Lancelot, go with them. The rest will get into sparring pairs, please."

"Well, now," Gwaine said with a wink and a smile, as the soldiers scrambled into formation, "Who says you never show off?"

Having been relieved of sword-box-carrying duty, Merlin tagged after the knights carrying a couple of archery targets- a lighter load than he was used to. He dumped them next to the sword and stood back as chaos erupted, not doubt started by Gwaine. It appeared to be Gwaine, anyway, given that he was pestering Leon again. Merlin dodged one of the younger knight candidates as the boy went leaping past to tackle a friend into the general dogpile of knights and went to set up the archery targets further down the grounds. When he returned, it was to the tail-end of one of the candidates' wisecracks about mucking stalls. He glared. First of all, he was good enough at mucking to avoid getting anything really nasty on his clothes- that was mostly mud and horse drool, because when you mucked the stalls with horses in them, they tended to follow you around and drool helpfully on your sleeves, and the back of your shirt, and your shoulder.

As the potential knight walked off, looking sullen with five of his buddies, his foot seemed to find a puddle of mud, and he slipped and fell down in it. By the time his friends had helped him out of it, he was as mud-covered as Merlin ever got. Merlin went back to staying well out of the way of the sparring knights, with a mischievous sort of grin on his face.

"What are you grinning at?" Gwaine asked as he walked up to grab a practice sword, and Merlin glanced at Godwin, who was still trying to figure out how to brush mud off of wool.

"Nothing at all," Merlin said innocently, but Gwaine looked over his shoulder at Godwin and snorted. He went back to Leon and the two conversed about something for a moment, with a few quick glances at Merlin. Leon looked like he wasn't at all sure about whatever Gwaine was proposing, but Gwaine gave him a friendly "oh, it'll be alright, what's the worst that could happen?" pat on the back and tossed his practice sword to Merlin.

"Hey! Merlin! Catch!" was really all the warning Merlin got, and he caught the sword sloppily, juggling it for a second before he got a good handle on it and stared at Gwaine.

"Would you stop doing that?" he asked, holding it back out to the knight as he wandered over, Leon following him.

"No, keep that. We're going to teach you how to swordfight! Can't have you flinging that thing around all haphazard like at-" here, Gwaine seemed to realize most of the assembled probably didn't, and shouldn't, know about the three of them infiltrating Morgana's castle, "Like the other day," he finish vaguely.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? He almost cut Arthur's head off last time," Leon said worriedly, glancing at the sword Merlin was holding like it was a snake about to bite him.

"Leon's right, this is a bad idea," Merlin agreed. He finally dropped the point of the sword so it rested in the dirt.

"No, not like that. That's bad for the blade," Leon said. He took the sword from Merlin and showed him how to put it through his belt, lacking a scabbard. Merlin took it back when Leon handed it to him (Gwaine snorted, possibly because he would have chucked it at him again, just for an excuse to chuck swords about at random) and managed to get the sword stuck in his belt without slicing the belt off or stabbing himself in the leg, or the foot, or anywhere else. Leon realized that, however unwillingly, he was doing exactly what he'd just said was a bad idea, and shrugged.

"I suppose it can't hurt. At least it's a practice blade," he admitted. Gwaine clapped them both on the back and dragged Merlin over with the candidates to show him how to actually swing the sword, while Leon watched from a careful distance away and offered pointers when Gwaine said something wrong.

It turned out Merlin wasn't nearly as big a disaster with the sword as they'd all thought. In fact, with a little practice he might be able to swing exactly where he wanted it to go, instead of a few inches up or down. As long as everyone stayed clear of his reach, there was little danger of them being injured.

"Excellent! Now, can you move while you swing that, without killing someone on accident?" Gwaine asked, and Merlin looked at him patiently.

"Gwaine, go help those two before one puts an eye out of the other," Leon broke in. Gwaine pouted for a moment and then went to help the two young men while Leon tried to get Merlin to learn the footwork necessary to sword-fighting.

"Look. Stand here, next to me, and follow my feet," Leon finally said, going to stand next to Merlin. This time, Merlin managed five steps before he realized he was off balance and pinwheeled his non-sword-holding arm wildly trying to balance without moving a single toe. Leon hopped back and reached out to steady him before he could topple over completely.

"Sorry," Merlin said with a slight grin, "Arthur is probably right about me staying away from swords."

"What! Giving up already?" Gwaine asked as he came back over, and Merlin leaned on the sword.

"Stop leaning on it like that, it isn't a walking stick," Leon said with some distress, and Merlin put the sword through his belt again.

"You should keep practicing, Merlin. It can't hurt for Arthur have an armed manservant," Leon said helpfully.

"That's the spirit! Come on, Merlin, let's see what you've learned," Gwaine said, but here Merlin drew the line.

"I really have to go, Gaius needs help in the library today," he said. Before either knight could object he waved to the two of them and retreated, setting the practice sword back in the box as he went.

"At least it wasn't the pet turtle excuse this time," Leon said meditatively as he watched the young man practically run from the field, and Gwaine laughed.

By the time Leon and Gwaine had sorted everyone out and given pointers on footwork and grip, they found themselves with a spare moment of breathing space just as they realized they were the only two knights unoccupied. Gwaine looked sidelong at Leon with a wry grin. "May I have this dance?" he laughed, flicking hair out of his face.

"Er-alright," Leon said, looking a little concerned as he picked up his sword. Gwaine always felt so reckless and untrained while every movement of Leon's was precise. It was irritating.

But it didn't make Leon's thrusts and parries any better.

"Oh, come on, Leon, you're so bloody predictable!" Gwaine laughed (predicting that this would get Sir Leon's breeches in a twist, which it did), as he gave his counterpart a playful smack on the thigh with the flat of his sword.

"Am not!" Parry. Repost.

"Are too! I can know your answer to any question without bothering asking you!"

"Like what?"

"Okay. You're going to say 'no' to this next bit."

"Try me."

"Take Elaine for a picnic!"

"What? _No!_"

"See?"

Leon ground his teeth and pulled out a few well-calculated moves that surprised Gwaine, sending him stumbling back. "You need to keep your weight on your back foot," he added.

Gwaine laughed in reply, spinning out and down, hop-skipping along to outflank his longer-legged opponent. The full effect wasn't achieved, though they were on equal footing again at least.

"Impressive," Leon said.

"You only say _that _when you're losing."

The clash of swords again.

"You know, Sir Leon, you're so straight, I can practically tell time just by looking at you?"

Leon knotted his brow. "That-doesn't make any sense." Gwaine used his moment of confusion to get in another strike, this time on Leon's arm.

"We'll even make it a double-date," Gwaine insisted, beginning to puff slightly as he bore down on his sparring partner rather than easing up.

"Make what a double-date?" he said, with willful ignorance.

"The picnic, Leon, pay a-bloody-tension!" He wasn't playing nice now, and stepped down hard on Leon's foot as he advanced. "You know, with _Elaine_!" He said this last part with inordinate loudness, though it was (probably) covered up by the clash of steel and shouting of men.

Leon blushed to his receding hair roots as he tried to extricate himself. "Gwaine-!" he said, trying to sound stern but almost whining.

"I can say it louder." Gwaine wiggled his eyebrows. "You want to hear me say it louder? So _everyone _can hear-"

"Shut! Up!"

"Pic! Nic!"

Leon was really losing ground at this point, and they walked into the path of a few other sparring matches in their concentration. "I can't! I'm too busy!"

"Bull! Shi-"

"Gwaine!" Leon shoved him off. "Will you _please _desist from this childiish behavior and leave me to my own affairs?"

"You mean the affairs you obviously can't manage by yourself? She's going to be old and wrinkled before you get the courage to hold her hand! You may be able to run Camelot in your sleep, son, but when it comes to your love life, you _clearly _need a hand!" Gwaine took a deep breath as if to shout a certain lady's name very loudly.

Leon dropped the sword and grabbed Gwaine's face, stopping the noise before he could get out another syllable. "Alright!" he hissed, suddenly quite angry. "Alright? Picnic. Fine. No problem. Will you just shut your mouth now?" He let go and picked up his sword.

Gwaine was so pleased he was even willing to let the other knights around them think Leon had won that round.

For the moment.

"Pleased as anything, Sir Leon," Gwaine bowed low, for effect. "Let's say, 3 o'clock today? Should give you time to clean up from the paddling I'm about to gve you..."

And with that and a laugh, Gwaine was through playing games. Leon was on his backside and swordless in seconds, with Gwaine standing over him with two swords and an incorrigible grin on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **__There is some epic foreshadowing at the end of this chapter that will come up later. Much later! We haven't even written that far yet. But it will come! So put this in your "major plot point to remember for later" file...essentially Leon is living up to his word way back in "The Odd Couple", and is starting to try to find out where Gwaine's family is. _

_**WARNINGS**__: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash._

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date. _

…

"Come on, lads," Percival said as Leon and Gwaine stood in front of the pump, alternating between dousing and scrubbing their wet hair, "Let's leave the ladies to finish their styles!"

"I don't see why you two need to wash your hair every day," Lancelot said. "I mean! Arthur doesn't even wash his that often!"

"Arthur doesn't get compliments on his hair, though, does he?" Gwaine said from under the pump.

The other knights laughed and left to perform their other duties, leaving Gwaine and Leon alone by the pump. Leon pulled on a clean shirt and started drying his hair with a towel.

"If its all the same, I don't think a picnic is the best venue for a first date," he said.

"Why not?" Gwaine said from where he was scrubbing his hair in a bowl of water.

"Too many variables. Dinner at King Arthur's table would be more appropriate."

"Fine. It'll look better with four of us." Leon and Gwaine only ate there once during their tenure as stewards, and abandoned it after Gwaine had to shout to get Leon to pass the salt.

"And not tonight. It'll have to be Saturday."

"Right, right!" Gwaine pulled his hair out of the water and flipped it sharply back, sending a shower of droplets into Leon's face. "Do you need me to ask her for you as well?"

"I think I might be able to manage that," Leon muttered, wiping his face. "...Who are you bringing?"

"Oh, that's just details," Gwaine said, with a characteristic grin. "The hardest part about that will be choosing which one."

"Oh, I'm sure!" Leon said, and as Gwaine bent to rinse his hair, Leon smacked him on the backside with the towel. He ran out of the pump room with Gwaine's shouts hard on his heels, laughing and hoping that Gwaine's pride in his perfectly-styled hair would keep him from giving chase too long.

He skidded to a halt just outside, because if he didn't he would have run straight into Lady Elaine and a few of her friends.

"Ladies," Leon said. For a second he thought he could feign nonchalance, but then Gwaine ran into him from behind, shoving him forward a couple of inches.

"Good afternoon, girls!" Gwaine said, who had no concept of honorifics. "How did you enjoy the training?"

The ladies giggled. "Very much, thank you," one said.

"Especially that er…little tumble in the dirt?" another said, sending the others into further giggles.

"Excuse me, ladies," Leon said, giving a curt nod and heading off quickly across the courtyard. Gwaine could entertain the ladies without him standing there blushing like a monk-

"Sir Leon!"

Leon turned to see Elaine following him, and, instead of running away like he wanted, he stopped and waited for her.

"I wanted to thank you for sticking up for Merlin," she said. "There's no excuse for the soldiers to make fun of him like that."

Leon nodded and gave a dismissive "Oh."

She nodded encouragingly. But Leon couldn't think of anything else to add to this profound statement so she said, "You and Sir Gwaine seem to be getting along well."

Leon replied with a descriptive "Mmm." He glanced over at Gwaine, who was chatting easily with the other ladies. My God, it was bloody unfair! "Actually," he said forcing himself to form actual words, "we're going to have dinner on Saturday. At Arthur's table. You know, in the council chambers, and we're—with some people, so—Would you…" he lost his train of thought as Gwaine sent the other ladies into a fit of giggling. He couldn't think when girls were giggling. "...Come?"

Elaine raised an eyebrow. "Come to dinner? With you and Gwaine?"

"Mmm," Leon said, his moment of loquacity gone.

"Yes, I'd love to," she said.

"Ah," Leon said, hoping she could at least see how pleased he was.

He spent the rest of the afternoon touring the lower town with Percival. Percival was laconic, which was just what Leon wanted now. The only conversation they had all day was about horses, about which Percy had some interesting insight. Later, Leon took a small detour by the marketplace to talk with a couple of merchants.

"This is the man I was telling you about, sir," the silk merchant, Cora, said.

"He's from the border. Knows all about what's goin' on in Caerleon's kingdom."

"My name is Leon," Leon said to the man, who looked him over with a tough glare.  
>"I'm looking for any surviving members of the House of Loth."<p>

"Loth?" the man put his head to one side. "I hear there's some in a kingdom South of here. Over the mountains."

"Do you know anything about them?"

He shrugged. "No, sir. They're just kids."

"Would you know how to find them?" Leon reached into his purse and pulled out several gold coins. "If you could deliver a letter to them," he said, putting the coins and the letter into his hand, "and bring me back their reply, I will give you triple."

The man nodded warily, and took the money. "What would a fancy knight like you be doing interested in that House, then?"

"A friend of mine is interested in their whereabouts. I put my trust in your discretion."

The man, apparently surprised at his politeness, gave a short bow. "Aye, sir," he said, and scampered off into the crowd of the marketplace.


	4. Chapter 4

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Ok, monster post! Apparently Gwaine wants to help everyone with their love lives...!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date.

…

Merlin hadn't actually been lying entirely when he said Gaius needed help in the archives. In fact, he was supposed to be helping Gaius and Geoffrey while they tried to make sure books were where they were supposed to be- and many of them weren't. Merlin was right now digging through some very old books someone had recently found in a chest and luckily neglected to bring to the attention of Uther or his son. Most of them were on boring things like how to keep a farm, or the care of geese, but in amongst all the mundane tomes were a few very old, very well-used books that seemed to be on magic. He set them aside to look over later, and stood up holding yet another scroll on farming.

"Gaius?" he asked, and his mentor stuck his head out from around a shelf.

"More farming scrolls. And a book. Do we really need to put all of them on shelves?" he asked, and Geoffrey of Monmouth stepped out from behind another shelf with a severe look.

"Put it on the shelves with the rest. It may someday prove useful," he said, and Merlin stood with an armful of paper to take to an already overflowing shelf. Why did they need all of these? Farming was taking over a whole shelf, and the section on castles was not far behind.

After a full afternoon spent in the dusty archives, the last thing Merlin wanted to do was spend the evening there, so he ferreted the books on magic out with him when he left, while Geoffrey and Gaius were arguing about the best place for a whole series of books on farming within castle walls.

He retreated to his room and as the evening wore on, delved through the books for something that would help him with a plan that he hadn't really given much thought to, afraid he'd talk himself right out of it. Right now, he had to find out if it was even possible to do as he wanted. There was no way, as far as he'd been able to think it through, that Freya was actually dead- he'd seen her, after all, in the lake. It was as if she'd… gone through the mirror-surface of the lake and gotten stuck on the other side. It had occurred to him, while watching Gwaine tease Leon endlessly about Elaine the previous day, that maybe he could bring her back, to this side of the lake's surface. Without giving it too much consideration, he'd ruled out asking Gaius anything about it, because he knew immediately that he would not approve. But Merlin missed her, especially with Gwaine and Leon larking about after any pretty lady or Lady Elaine, respectively. The trouble was, he wasn't sure any of the magic he knew would quite cut it, and though he was growing less hesitant of labeling any magic "good" or "bad", he wondered if he needed different magic than what he knew.

Merlin sighed and shut the book he'd been leafing through. He couldn't ask the dragon for help either, because he definitely had set opinions on what magic should and shouldn't do. The dragon would definitely not agree that Merlin should be wasting his time trying to find a spell to bring back Freya.

Anyway, it was clear this book wasn't what he was looking for. There would be nothing useful in amongst a lot of spells for curing ills and making things grow and making water flow the wrong direction. He set the book on the floor and with a disgruntled mutter pulled the next book into his lap and set to flipping pages.

…

"Sssit turns out, y'notta biiiiiiig boy f'r nuthin!"

"Sssssir Gwaine, r'you flirting with mmmmmme?"

"Nnnnaaaaawww, Perce! I'm flirtin' wi' yer Ma!"

That got a chorus of laughter from the regulars, though Gwaine wasn't sure why. He liked drinking with Sir Percival, when they actually got right down to it and did some serious drinking. Percy drank slower, but Gwaine talked more. They kept the pints flowing, matching each other well, confident that the castle coffers would be picking up the tab.

But not before they drank Stuart dry.

As it happened, Stuart kicked them out at half past two, sometime after they'd been properly soused, but well before they were fully marinated.

Percival was a giggler. "Coulda kept going, hee! Huh, Gwaine?"

"Aww, yeah, Perce!" Gwaine said, clapping the bigger man on the back as they staggered home. "Wanna sssssneak int'the wine cellar?" Gwaine wiggled his eyebrows sloppily.

"Nnnnnaaah," Percival said, lowering his head and blinking slowly. "Sssss'late! Teeeheee!"

The bigger man stopped, staggered sideways.

"Annnnndyer right about Northumbrian mmmoonshine, Gwaine!"

"Oh, hell, you haven't gone blind, have you, Perce?"

But Percival just exploded into laughter. Gwaine followed suit. After a moment,

"What were we laughing about, again?" Gwaine asked.

"Nev'mmindthat," Percival slurred. "Wherethehell'rewe?"

Gwaine sighed. "A'right, big boy, lesss getya home."

Together the pair stumbled down the darkened streets toward the castle, sometimes laughing, often swaying, until they reached the gates. The guards, accustomed to such scenes (although they did frown at Percival, who was leaning heavily on Gwaine by this point) and let them pass without a word.

He had Percival tucked safely in his bed in no time: shoes, armor, and belt off, and lying on his side the way you were supposed to lay out mates who'd had one too many.

Well, now what?

Now he was bored. He was too drunk to sleep, not drunk enough to pass out, and now no one to talk to.

His feet led the way and he just followed. They guessed right, though, and put him outside the Physician's quarters. Because you know who was probably up at stupid hours?

Merlin!

He almost burst in like that, remembering himself just in time. Gaius probably wouldn't appreciate being awakened like this. So he snuck in. Or tried, anyway. He bumped a few tables and cursed a few times, but the old physician was...well, old, and he didn't wake.

So Gwaine made it to Merlin's room undetected, and threw wide the door, grinning as Merlin scrambled to hide some books he was looking at. Although Gwaine had his suspicions as to what the books really were, he couldn't resist a sleazy jab:

"Now Merlin," Gwaine said, leaning sloppily against the doorframe, "what've I told you about looking at those dirty-picture-books?"

…

One book and three hours later, Merlin was still no further along in finding a spell. He had found a great many other spells that, had he not been looking for something, probably would have caught his attention. As it was, he had indeed tried the one that turned teacups into hedgehogs. Why such a spell even existed was beyond him, and he'd then wasted no small amount of time chasing the spiky thing around his room. When he finally caught it, it bit him for his trouble and curled into a tiny, teacup-sized ball of quills. He went out into the courtyard to release it, and it trundled off toward the kitchens, presumably looking for its teacup-kinfolk.

He was just nearing the end of his current book, which had initially seemed very promising, or at least full of eclectic spells, when his door burst open quite without warning. He slammed the book shut, yanked his hand back as it shut on his finger, and realized that it was only Gwaine. Who, of course, despite being drunk, came up with something to say that made Merlin blush bright red. And since he looked like he'd never seen a day of sun in his life, when he blushed, he turned bright red.

"What? They're not… I mean… I don't…" he stammered, which of course only made Gwaine laugh at him. Merlin stopped stammering when realized he was only going to dig himself a hole, and waited for Gwaine to stop laughing. Because the knight was drunk, it took a little longer than it usually did.

"Stop, you're going to wake Gaius, and he'll kick us both out. And I, for one, would like to sleep sometime tonight," Merlin hissed finally, and Gwaine at least toned down the laughter to a quiet chuckle. He watched Merlin glare in what he assumed was indignation, but really more closely resembled a startled fawn trying to look threatening. He held up his hands in mock surrender to the almighty angry-baby-deer glare.

"Alright, no need t'worry. The problem with you, Merlin, is that you're far too much fun to tease. None of us can possibly help ourselves when you react like that," Gwaine said, stepping through the doorway he'd been leaning in and swinging the door mostly shut behind him. He looked at the books scattered about and on Merlin's bed.

"So what are you looking for, then?" Gwaine asked. Merlin flipped the book in his lap back open and looked down at it for a moment.

"A spell," he answered vaguely, pausing on a page to read through the whole spell. Close, but not really what he was looking for.

"I'm drunk, Merlin, not stupid. I meant what kind of spell," Gwaine drawled, and Merlin grinned at the statement. Well, at least he knew he was drunk. Granted, he was usually to some extent, so the admission didn't carry a ton of weight.

"Sort of a transport spell," he said, though he didn't say what he was transporting. Gwaine gave him A Look, fully aware Merlin was being evasive again- the boy seemed to have a knack for weaseling out of questions- and Merlin finally elaborated.

"To… transport the soul of one thing into another thing?" he said, although it sounded more like a question.

"Ah. And why, exactly, would you want to do that?" he asked.

"Curiosity?" Merlin asked. It was usually a good excuse. In fact, he'd done a great many stupid things out of curiosity. Gwaine also tended to do stupid things out of what Merlin thought was curiosity, just to see what would happen. Or perhaps he didn't think first. Maybe both. Whatever the case, the explanation seemed to satisfy Gwaine for the moment, and he held out a hand for one of the books. Since Merlin wasn't sure the knight would make it up off the floor if he sat down in his current state, Merlin moved to the floor and leaned up against a chest on the far wall, relinquishing the higher ground, the bed, to Gwaine.

Ten minutes later, he heard Gwaine mumbling something under his breath. After listening for a moment, Merlin realized what it was he was mumbling.

"Gwaine," he said loudly enough to get his friend's attention, and Gwaine looked up from the book.

"If you want to turn yourself into a frog, keep reading," Merlin said, and watched as the knight put two and two together. Then he stared at the book.

"Really? This one?" he said, pointing to a spell. He held the book out and Merlin squinted at it to read the words from where he sat. _Liggeþ alse þe tadde deð in þere eorðe_, it said, and Merlin laughed.

"Yes. Don't read any of them out loud," Merlin said, and went back to his book. Gwaine stared at him for a moment longer, shrugged, and went back to his book. A minute later, he looked up and then tossed a sock a Merlin, and then a ball of paper, and finally a boot, which clumped down right next to his leg and prompted him to finally look up from his book, having ignored previous attempts to bother him.

"I found one, but you weren't paying attention," he supplied as an excuse, although Merlin suspected he had just been taking the opportunity to toss things at him. At least he hadn't had a sword anywhere within arm's reach. When Merlin stood and went to look at the book, he discovered that, indeed, it looked to be a spell that might work. He hadn't quite expected to find one so fast, not when he was still hesitating about this whole thing. He looked at it and sighed. In fact, he was on the verge of asking Gwaine about the whole thing, albeit in such a way that it sounded like generic relationship advice.

"Hey! You know what I just realized?"

"You never manage to make it to your own bed to be drunk?" Merlin asked helpfully, and dodged another sock.

"Ah, no," Gwaine said, and then appeared to get lost in thought thinking about that.

"Then what?" Merlin prompted.

"Oh, I don't remember any more. But you're right! Funny how that happens," he commented. Merlin rolled his eyes at the ceiling in an age-old gesture of please-give-me-strength. Yes, this was just the best idea he'd had all day. Right up there with turning the teacup into a hedgehog- but he also had not a single other soul to ask.

"I have a question. Um… actually, I sort of need some advice," Merlin said, and that got Gwaine's attention. He flicked an errant lock of hair out of his face and even looked like he was paying attention. And being serious.

"It's about… well, a girl, sort of," he added. Oh of course. _There_ was the cocky, I-know-something-you-don't grin. Wonderful. While there was no doubt Gwaine knew a great many things Merlin didn't, that was exactly _not_ what he was asking about. The young warlock dropped his head into his palm. Yes, this was a great idea.

"Ahh! So you _are _a man, after all, eh, Merlin?" Gwaine guffawed loudly before remembering who was snoring just outside, and promptly clapped a hand over his mouth as Merlin glared. "Only joking, mate, of course, lad like you, doesn't want to be tied down, I get it. Girls are far too much work these days, and you're a busy man!"

"Em-" Merlin tried, but Gwaine held up a hand.

"Just let the Gwaine the Ladykiller look out for you on this one!" he assured his companion, patting him on the shoulder firmly, relishing as Merlin flinched hilariously. "The trick is, as I keep telling Leon, you have to strike up a conversation with her, you see-you _have _spoken to the lady in question, have you, Merlin?"

"_Yes_!" was the exasperated reply.

"All right, all right, never can be too sure with the likes of you!" Gwaine settled back onto Merlin's bed with his hands behind his head, getting down to business. "Now, what you want to do, Merlin, see," he continued, gesticulating wildly, "is get a nice, sturdy table-"

"Ooookay, that's enough!" Merlin cried, jumping to his feet.

"_Merlin_!" came Gaius' shout from outside the room. "Keep it down in there, I'm trying to sleep!"

Gwaine snorted. Merlin glared.

"Aye, Merlin," Gwaine couldn't resist whispering, "keep it down!" He quickly dissolved into a fit of giggling so strong he didn't even feel it when Merlin's boot hit him in the head.

"Gwaine, I'm serious!" Merlin practically wailed, except since they'd just been shouted at, he kept his voice down and it came out more like a strangled whine. The petulant tone of voice only made Gwaine snort and continue giggling. Merlin was seriously considering winging one of the smaller books across the room when Gwaine finally got himself under control and there was a break in the giggle fit as he attempted to look serious.

"Are you done?" Merlin asked with annoyance, and Gwaine thought about it for a second, apparently thought of something hilarious, and went off into another giggle fit. Merlin threw his other boot at him.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?" Gwaine yelped, and put a hand to his head.

"Stop laughing, this is serious! I need help!" Merlin said. He honestly looked a little desperate. Gwaine realized he was, indeed, being serious, and stopped laughing. He stopped giggling, even. Perhaps that had been a bit uncalled-for… and maybe, just maybe, he was being a bit of a jackass about this.

"I was just kidding," he grumbled. Could he perhaps plead that he was too drunk for serious conversation? He considered it, and then discarded the idea.

"Alright, Merlin, what's wrong?" he asked. Merlin thought for a moment. He actually wasn't sure what advice he wanted. He couldn't quite bring himself to ask for advice about the magic… He paced while he thought, and then leaned on the wall and looked at the ceiling for inspiration.

"How do you know… Ummmm. What do you do if _know_ no one will approve of her… or you being with her… or even her being around?" Merlin asked. Yes, that was what he wanted advice on. Was he even doing the right thing? He thought he was, certainly. Oh, he still wasn't questioning about the potential misuse of magic, here, or whether it was morally right or wrong to try and bring her back, but if she showed up someone was bound to ask questions, and several someones were bound to disapprove. The dragon, if he found out, which he would, might even barbecue Merlin for it. How was he even supposed to deal with that?

Gwaine tried flexing his eyebrows to coax more intelligence out of his skull, but it didn't really work. He felt he needed to be more sober for this, lest he say something truly saptastic and never be respected by Merlin ever again-

"Do it," Gwaine said.

There was a pause. Gwaine almost regretted his words, but, no, that was _exactly _the sentiment he wanted to pass on.

"Do...what, really?" Merlin asked.

Gwaine nodded, sitting up so he could actually look at Merlin.

"Do whatever you've got to do, Merlin," he said, with a shrug. "If you need to do it, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. Nobody's perfect. Anyone who tells you you can't do what makes you happy, what you feel you need to do, that's not perfect, that's not good advice or anyone you need bother yourself listening to, huh? Anyone who's gonna judge you for doing right by yourself isn't someone whose judgement you ought to be heeding."

Merlin thought about this.

"But then I'm an anarchist, what do I know?" Gwaine laughed and flopped back on the bed. "Anyway, know I'm behind you, whatever you do."

More silence. _Ooh, I just said that out loud, didn't I? Quick, time to cheapen the moment:_

"Although I may draw the line if she's a troll or something."

That got a reaction, and a giggle, and sent Merlin casting about for something further to throw at him, though he'd exhausted his supply of ammunition already. "She's _not _a troll!"

"Still wouldn't judge you, mate, I mean, takes all kinds, right, just saying I wouldn't be over for Sunday dinner on a regular-"

"Not! A! Troll!" Merlin hissed.

Gwaine winked. "Then I think it's safe to say I reckon you're a big lad, Merlin, and can make your own damn choices without worrying what other people think. Couldn't you just turn 'em into a toad, anyone who gave you trouble?"

"I could do that, but Arthur would make an ugly toad," Merlin said thoughtfully, grinning slightly. The grin faded. Not to mention the dragon. Could you even turn dragons into toads? He supposed they were probably immune to magic. It was also possible Arthur wouldn't care much, outside of giving him endless grief, but probably all the knights would give him grief anyway.

"Although those donkey ears…" he added after a moment.

"What?" Gwaine laughed.

"Right before we met you, in fact, in that tavern. There was this goblin, and it possessed Gaius, and gave Arthur donkey ears. And he couldn't talk without sounding like a donkey, either," Merlin said. Gwaine appeared to be trying to imagine this, but he was already giggling, and Merlin added, "I fixed it. Mostly. He did sound like a donkey for about a day after the ears were gone…" He laughed and Gwaine burst into laughter as well.

"_Merlin_! Be _quiet_!" Gauis shouted from the other room, and the two of them both stopped laughing lest they both get kicked out into the courtyard.

"Well, it worked out. And the time that Sidhe princess put the spell on him, and he acted like a prat for days. I was in the stocks three times because he was larking after her. Actually, do you know how many times I've saved his life, and he doesn't even know about it?" Merlin said, sitting on the chest at the end of his bed and ticking off the times on his fingers.

"The time the Questing Beast bit him, and he nearly died, and that shield that bit people, and you were there the time that bracelet _and_the wyverns nearly killed him. Oh! And when I drank poison because Uther didn't believe the cup was really poisoned," he stopped to think for a moment, completely unaware that Gwaine had, while still listening, sprawled out on his bed because it was hard listening to Merlin natter on when you were drunk and tired.

"On second thought, that may not count. He did save my life in return," Merlin added a full minute later, apparently having been lost in thought for a good deal longer than he realized. Then he realized that Gwaine had gone incredibly quiet, which was certainly unusual. Merlin turned on the chest and looked to see why he was being so quiet.

The knight had apparently fallen asleep. He was sprawled across a little over half the bed, as if he'd been trying to leave Merlin somewhere to at least sit that wasn't a chest or a floor. It was really quite considerate, given that Gwaine usually sprawled enough to take up multiple chairs, bedrolls, beds, or wherever else the knights were being forced to sleep. The others had learned to be nowhere near him after he'd kicked Percival in the face when the other knight had chosen to sleep with his head about a foot too close to Gwaine's feet. On the other hand, Percy had then awoken Gwaine by twisting an arm behind his back and starting a wrestling match that had almost landed the both of them in the fire until Arthur shouted at them to knock it off and go to sleep. So it'd probably worked out fairly in the end.

This, however, wasn't going to work. Short of making enough noise to wake this entire end of the castle, Merlin knew he wasn't going to just wake Gwaine out of an alcohol-induced unconsciousness. He did roll him onto his side, because he thought at some point Gwaine, ironically enough, had told him that was what you did when your friends got passed-out drunk. If, indeed, Gwaine was passed out and not just sleeping. It was hard to tell, sometimes.

Then Merlin looked around his room. There was exactly nowhere for him to sleep, except on the pile of clothes by his door. At least they were clean.

"Gwaine. Psssst, Gwaine. Wake up!" he hissed and shoved the knight's shoulder. It worked exactly as well as he'd thought it would.

"_Gwaine_! Go sleep in your own bed!" Merlin said, as if that would work any better. Gwaine just slept on. At least he wasn't snoring.

Finally, Merlin gave up and sat with his back against the wall on the pile of clothes next to the door. He wasn't planning on sleeping sitting up, but maybe if he glared long enough Gwaine would feel his eyes boring figurative holes in his forehead and wake up and go back to his own quarters. Or maybe pigs would suddenly learn to fly.


	5. Chapter 5

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **More Lancelot. (Can you tell that he's our favorite NPC to write?) Let us know what you think of Galehaut! By the way we obviously don't own Journey or any of the other band lyrics we use (or the quotes for that matter, which in this post are from Sir Thomas Malory). They are for fun times only!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date.

…

"You're not happy, Lancelot."

Lancelot turned from where he had been staring out the window into the starry night. Galehaut was standing in the doorway of his room, silhouetted slightly against the light from the hall. It was odd to see the man without a grin on his face, but he apparently was taking Lancelot's brooding pretty seriously. Lancelot didn't think he showed his emotions as easily as that!

"It's nothing," he said. He was compelled to say more, but for all of Galehaut's friendliness during the past couple of weeks, he didn't know the man very well. He forced a smile. "It's late. You ought to get to bed."

"Oh, can't sleep. I stay up most nights just thinking. It's very relaxing, in a way."

"For some, maybe. For my part I wish things were a little less complicated."

Lancelot turned back to the window, which Galehaut took as an invitation to join him at the window. They gazed at the stars for a few moments in silence. "You've lost someone up there in those stars," Galehaut said at length.

Lancelot and he exchanged sidelong glances. "You make it sound very romantic," he said with a smile.

"Oh, pining for love is the most romantic thing in the world." He leaned over and added. "I shouldn't be surprised if the beloved in question isn't thinking about you, too."

"She isn't thinking of me," Lancelot said, and though he laughed he ended with a sigh.

"Then Sir Lancelot saw her visage," Galehaut said, as if reciting a poem as he looked up at the stars, "but he wept not greatly, but sighed! The sweetness of love is short-lived, it whispered, but the pain endures."

"That's good," Lancelot said, impressed.

"It just comes to me," Galehaut said, touching his brow. He glanced again at Lancelot. "I am at your service, should you need anything. I'm told I have a sympathetic ear and an absorbent shoulder."

It took Lancelot a moment to work out what he meant. "Oh—I think  
>I'm alright," Lancelot said, laughing nonetheless at Galehaut's oddness. Part of him hoped that Galehaut would press the issue further, but he only smiled, gave one last look at the stars and left. Lancelot noticed from the height of the candles in his room that it had to be near midnight.<p>

He sighed again and wandered, seemingly by accident, to the virginal in the corner of his room. It was a present from Gwen, and Gwaine and Leon kept pestering him to bring it to Friday Knights. But he didn't dare—not until he could play something that was worthy of it, and of Gwen. Oh how he longed to make her see that *he* loved her more than anyone else…!

Now, that poem, *that* was certainly worthy of her. Perhaps it would make her understand. He took it from where it lay by his bed and opened it up to the poem he had been reading earlier, setting it on the music stand. He played a few experimental chords, deep and melancholy.

He had to look the part, too. He grabbed the mirror from where it stood by the wardrobe and dragged it over. He looked in his reflection, and began.

"_It's been a mystery, still I try to see why something good could hurt so bad…. Caught on a one way street, the taste of bittersweet, love will survive somehow, some way_…."

He glanced now and then at the book, but he had read it so many times that the words came easily to him. He continued, soft and ardent, feeling the very essence of the music building and magnifying within him.

"_So many stormy nights, so many wrongs or rights, neither could change their headstrong ways, and in a lover's rage they tore another page. The fighting is worth the love they save_…"

He fancied the candles were twinkling in the background like her eyes, and he could almost hear the instruments of the others, a lute, some drums…faraway, not really there—only he was there to make her see, only she could hear the music. Light seemed to grow in intensity around him, flooding the room in gold, scarlet, and azure, and though he knew he was just singing to himself, it almost seemed like someone was there with him. Perhaps it was Gwen, thinking of him across the night. The unknown listener drew the music through his fingers, demanding everything in his heart to emerge in the unearthly notes. In the shadow of its presence he grew confident, the drums in his head bursting into crescendo.

"_One love feeds the fire, one heart burns desire, wonder who's crying now? Two hearts born to run, who'll be the lonely one? Wonder who's crying now?_"

He took a deep breath, ready for the finale, his fingers playing only the softest of notes. "_Only so many tears_-"

A loud couple of thumps against on the wall so surprised Lancelot that he bumped against the virginal, causing the lid to come down hard on his knuckles. A second later he heard a shout of "_Are you strangling a cat or something? Keep it down!_" It was from Percival, who's room shared a wall with Lancelot's.

"Sorry!" Lancelot shouted back, and sucked on his fingers.

Sounded like a cat, did he? Well—he'd never play that stupid thing again, not ever!

Despite being quite tired he had a fitful night's sleep. It seemed that the very walls of Camelot were still humming the music to him, mocking him.

…


	6. Chapter 6

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **That same evening...!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony- - or at least in a double-date.

…

"…And that is how you make a chirograph," Leon said, pushing the two pieces of paper across the table. "This half goes to the nobleman and this half we keep."

George, one of the other castle servants, looked at the two pieces of paper which Leon had just cut in half with some degree of skepticism. "What, that's it?"

"Yes," Leon said uncertainly. "Is there something else?"

"Only-well, it's not very secure, is it? A child could forge that!"

Leon looked back at the two halves. "Oh, it's alright," he said. "They're all like that- - see?"

"Yes, I do see," George said, apparently still bothered. "I can see quite plainly that Camelot's security system for its accountancy is clearly lacking. I'll just make it a bit more complex-that way when you bring the two pieces back together you'll know for sure that you have the real one." He took the shears and started cutting.

"There's no need," Leon said desperately. It was already past midnight. He laughed and clapped George on the shoulder. "Really. We're done."

"Only take a minute," George said, a little testily.

Leon's grin faded as he watched George work. "But you're not even going to be able to read the writing-"

"It's alright," George said, industriously cutting the parchment. "I'll just write up another. Otherwise I shant get a wink of sleep for thinking about it. I know, I think I'll make it in the shape of Grendel."

"No one knows what Grendel looked like."

"They will in a minute!"

Leon blinked. "Right. I'll—leave you to it, then."

George just smiled, not looking up from the page. Leon took the opportunity and bolted.

He was crossing the rampart by Gaius's window when he heard a loud snore. He grinned. Gaius was notorious for his snoring, which was why the Physician's quarter's were out of the common way. Poor old Merlin, though!

The first snorer, however, was joined by a second. He listened, and under the chorus of snores he could barely make out a pathetic, hopeless groan of "Please, would you shut up?"

Leon poked his head in Merlin's window. "Merlin?" he whispered.

"Leon!" Merlin was lying on the floor, but at the sound of Leon's voice he jumped up and ran to the window. "It's terrible! He just won't shut up! Gaius is alright, but I can't even sleep in my own bed!"

"What, again?" he didn't even need to ask who had taken Merlin's bed. "Alright, let's get him up."

Merlin grinned, and together they managed to get Gwaine pulled over Leon's shoulder and out into the hallway. It wasn't too difficult—this happened often enough that they had developed a system. Gaius didn't stir.

"You should come out and train with us again tomorrow," Leon offered. "With Arthur gone I'm sure you must be bored out of your skull."

Merlin paled until he realized Leon was joking.

"We'll see," Merlin said, rolling his eyes. "Thanks again."

"This is the last time," Leon warned, though he was still grinning, and he headed off down the hall toward Gwaine's room. On the way he passed Lord Galehaut, who also appeared to be going to bed.

"Goodnight, Galehaut," Leon said as he passed, careful to keep Gwaine's legs out of Galehaut's way.

Galehaut only gave a forlorn sigh and said, "Every one's got someone…" Leon wasn't exactly sure what he meant.

…

With Gwaine finally gone, Merlin yawned and stretched and toppled into his bed. He lay there for a minute, and then remembered that spell Gwaine had found. With another yawn Merlin sat up and dragged the book into his lap from the floor where Gwaine had dropped it. It didn't say anything about casting it on something specific, so he shrugged and stared at the air about three feet in front of him. He took a deep breath.

"_Gelíffæstnian_," he said. Nothing happened for several long seconds, and then he felt a very strange surge of magic around him, like a gust of air through an open window. But there was not other immediate sign that the spell had worked. If it had, it certainly hadn't worked the way he'd intended. Just in case, though, he cracked his door open and looked into the deserted main room. She wasn't there, either.

More than a little crestfallen, he sat down hard on his bed and set the book back down on the floor. The candle had burned low since nightfall, so with an irritated sigh he lay down and waved a hand to put it out. It didn't go out. He frowned and tried again, and then sat up and waved at it a third time. That was odd. Then again, maybe he'd accidentally enchanted the candle instead of bringing Freya back… it would make sense. He shrugged and blew on the candle- it flicked right out- and rolled over to go to sleep.

…

Sure, Leon was tired. He was always tired, especially when he had a thirteen-stone Gwaine on his back.

But surely it shouldn't be this hard to find his room!

It was dark—most of the bracket lamps had been put out long ago—and now Leon trudged down a dimly lit hallway towards what he certainly hoped was Gwaine's room.

"Alright, Gwaine, come on, wake up, you've got to go to bed now," he said as he pushed Gwaine's door open, until he heard a groan.

"Alright, that's it! I am trying to sleep, you know!"

Leon's brow knotted. "Percival? Sorry—I thought this was Gwaine's room…"

"Yer mad, 's second hall on the th'right," Percival said with a yawn, and ignored them until Leon dragged Gwaine out into the hall again.

That was odd. Leon knew the castle backwards and forwards. It was the change in sleep pattern that was doing this to him, he decided. It was really Gwaine's fault, for whom there was only one seven o' clock per day. He couldn't wait for Arthur to return and get Camelot running on regular business hours. No, not Arthur—Arthur had no concept of standard sleep patterns either. Gwen, then. Yes, Gwen would put everything in order, bless her.

He went down the second hall on the right, and blinked blearily at the door to his own room.

But the—his room was on the other side of the—How could-?

Oh. Right. Long day.

With a resigned shake of the head he went inside and deposited Gwaine on his own bed, careful to remove his shoes before he put the covers over him. Gwaine lay there like a ragdoll, looking perfectly peaceful. It made Leon sleepy just watching him.

Maybe there was a way to push him onto one side of the bed, and Leon might just fit too...? No, best not risk it. He remembered the row Percival made when Gwaine kicked him in the head all too well, and already Gwaine was unconsciously starting to sprawl out over both of the bed's edges. Besides, Gwaine would never let him hear the end of it if he woke up.

He grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and lay down on the rug by the window. It was harder than he had hoped. Still, he had Elaine to occupy his thoughts, and musings on whether the merchant would be able to locate the House of Loth and Gwaine's surviving kin.

He was fast asleep in minutes.

…

A girl once told Gwaine he chased rabbits in his sleep. He had been with her for some time-maybe even a week-a record, for him-before she told him this. She said the first night she couldn't stop laughing for his twitching, and the second night his flailing arm had hit her in the side of the head, and the third night he had actually rolled himself out of bed, entangled in sheets and demanding what had happened.

Gwaine slept like the dead. He also didn't dream. It was therefore news to him that he was such an active sleeper.

The knights gave him no end of trouble for it. Percy once almost broke his arm for _allegedly _kicking him, and Lancelot had practically challenged him to a duel for _allegedly_spooning him, and it had never yet been cold enough on campaign that they didn't make him sleep on the other side of the fire from the rest of the lads.

He woke to nature's call, sitting up, dazed and confused, wondering where the hell he was and hadn't he been in Merlin's room and why was he now in Leon's bed? These things hardly troubled Gwaine, however, because he was hungry. Also, he had to piss.

Still at least two sheets to the wind, Gwaine staggered to his feet. Where the bloody hell were his buggering shoes? No matter.

"Leon," Gwaine said, poking the blonde knight in the shoulder. Then, much louder, "LEON!"

"DOES NO ONE SLEEP IN THIS PLACE?" he heard a muffled, though highly exasperated, shout a few rooms over, and Gwaine couldn't help but laugh. Percival had a reputation as something of a Sleep Tyrant. If he didn't get his eight or nine hours each night, he was a wreck, and on top of that was grumpy in the mornings anyway and, except under very select circumstances (like Gwaine was buying) hardly ever stayed out late. Gwaine had already told Arthur that Percival should probably get a bunk in the dungeons, where it was quieter, but no one listened to him.

"Leon, I'm gone. I think the Lady Elaine might get jealous of me like this. Get back in yer bed, mate."

No reaction to that, though Leon did lurch upright, like the undead, and lumber over to drop heavily into his bed. Gwaine tucked him in as best he could while still seeing double, and staggered back to his room.

Gwaine stripped down to his breeches, flinging clothes all around the tiny room before going to his wardrobe and practically wrenching the doors off their hinges to get at his secret stash: a bottle of Northumbrian moonshine that he was saving for a special occasion but which he readily dipped into when his inhibitions were low (usually when he needed a reason to get up before Prime), a few wine skins (all virtually empty), a few old campaign rations for when he was _really _desperate, a hunk of bread nicked from the kitchens, a bit of cheese from the same, and a few mushrooms he was pretty sure weren't poisonous.

He took these last three: cheese, bread, and mushrooms, and sat down on the floor to eat them. He usually refrained from eating when he was seriously drinking, so that he could keep pace with lesser men, and Gwaine realized he actually hadn't had anything for supper until now. The mushrooms were delicious, and the cheese wasn't even too molded, the bread soft enough when soaked with the last few drops of wine left in the skins.

Sated, Gwaine was prepared to sleep on the floor, and was just considering whether he cared enough to drag himself the few feet to his bed, when the wardrobe moved.

At first he thought, or hoped, it was a trick of his mind. The entire room, really, had been faintly swaying, like a tree branch in a gentle breeze, since he'd sat down here.

But it certainly hadn't been _growling_.

Gwaine leapt back, suddenly sober, against his bed as the wardrobe reared itself up and, shifting it's weight from corner to corner, took a few steps toward him. Confused, mesmerized, and apparently drunker than he though, Gwaine simply stared up at the creature-furniture. But it seemed to size him up, then, deem him not a threat, perhaps, because it blew out its doors and drawers, like a friendly horse flapping its lips, and then abruptly snapped everything shut.

Gwaine stared a moment longer.

"Huh," he said.

There was nothing further from the wardrobe.

"Okay." Gwaine left the remnants of his meal-crumbs and a wrung wine skin-on the floor and hauled himself into bed, where he closed his eyes immediately upon impact with the pillow.

Definitely poisonous mushrooms. The Pictish kind of poisoned, apparently.


	7. Chapter 7

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Fun in the library! Leon and Merlin seem like just the sort of people that would be into riddles and logic puzzles and the like. Most of the puzzles we found online at various places (the one Gwaine tries to tell is an Anglo-Saxon riddle, part of a series of the dirtier kind of riddle that apparently the Anglo-Saxons loved). Enjoy!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date.

…

Leon hefted the stack of books into his arms and started for the library.

It was a large assortment of books, and thus not easy to carry. The patents of nobility were particularly cumbersome, as were the royal annals and records. All stacked up in his arms they went above his eyebrows, and he made his way cautiously so as not to run into anyone. He had borrowed them from Geoffrey a few weeks back, almost as soon as Gwaine had told him about his family's cruel treatment at the hands of Caerleon. Leon hoped to find in the records some sort of explanation, possibly even a misunderstanding. But the annals in particular were painfully clear and brief in explaining what had happened-and it happened just as Gwaine had told it.

Leon didn't promise to help Gwaine lightly. Especially if Gwaine only let his past be known under duress of drink. But now that he knew the particulars of Caerleon's treachery, he didn't know what else to do except find Gwaine's lost siblings. That could be difficult, and he wouldn't hear back from that merchant for several weeks. It was possible that his siblings were untraceable, living somewhere far beyond Camelot's influence. He had to at least try to find them. Still, that didn't mean he needed to tell Gwaine. He certainly didn't want to get him angry, or get his hopes up. It would be better to wait until he had proof of Gwaine's siblings' wellbeing, and pretend as if he had forgotten about the whole thing.

It would be better to get the books back before Gwaine saw them with him, too. Geoff would be wanting them back anyway. The fact that he took the books away with him probably upset Geoffrey to no end, who was the type of librarian that wished books were attached to their shelves on little chains.

He jimmied the door to the library open with his elbow and turned awkwardly on the spot to get in. "Geoff?..."

BAM! Someone ran into Leon from the side just as he stepped inside, causing him to drop all of his books. There was a shout that sounded like Merlin, and a load of hard corners and edges dropping on his boots suggested that he had also dropped his books as well.

"Sorry!" Merlin said, quickly picking up his books.

"It's alright," Leon said, helping to gather up the fallen books before Geoffrey caught either of them.

"Bit of light reading?" Merlin asked as he stacked his books up.

"Oh, yes, just—you know. Some reading." To change the subject, Leon picked up one of Merlin's books at random. "I didn't know you liked to read so much. What's this one?"

…

Having failed entirely to glean anything really useful from the book he'd taken from the archives, Merlin stacked them on the table in the main room while Gaius was out taking medicines to less mobile patients, and then managed to pick up the whole stack and carry them all the way to the archives. Having also failed almost entirely to get any decent sleep, he did not realize the age-old problem of carrying the "lazy man's load", and nearly lost the whole stack walking down a flight of stairs. The top one fell off as he was opening a door, and he couldn't even bend down to pick it up without causing the rest to go into an avalanche of literary material, and so he just stood there staring at the traitorous volume.

Oh, right. Magic. If he hadn't been carrying all the books, he definitely would have face-palmed. Merlin blamed his lack of thought on lack of sleep, and levitated the book to the top of the stack.

Once in the safety of the archives, he relaxed his grip on the books just a little, and went to the table to set them down. Rather, he was going to go to the table, but as he rounded the corner of a shelf, he ran headlong into Leon, who also had a load of books. He, of course, dropped his own, and then jumped so they wouldn't land on his feet. One of the heavier ones dropped corner-down on his left foot and he bit off a curse.

Merlin tried to get to the books first, especially to gather the ones that would take a bit more explanation than he was quite ready to give. Leon, however, in true helpful-Leon fashion, completely beat him to it- due in no small part to the fact that Merlin had been biting off curses aimed at certain inanimate objects.

"That one?" he said, and tipped his head to try and read it upside down. "That one is about common household pests, because Gaius has been having trouble with rats," he said off the top of his head. Of course, they'd been having trouble with no such thing. And now he'd have to mention this to Gaius in case Leon went and tried to help him take care of the problem. Not that Gaius wasn't used to covering for Merlin's random excuses… He was even competent at making them up himself. That tavern one, for example. Merlin was sure he'd never hear the end of it.

As he picked up the rest of the books, a leaf of paper fluttered out from between two of the fallen volumes, and he turned it right-side-up to look at it. Oh! One of the riddles he'd found. Merlin grinned crookedly.

"Sir Leon, are you any good at riddles? I found this one…" he said, holding the paper out so the knight could read it. If, indeed, he could read Merlin's nearly-illegible chicken-scratch handwriting.

_What does man love more than life  
>Fear more than death or mortal strife<br>What the poor have, the rich require,  
>and what contented men desire,<br>What the miser spends and the spendthrift saves  
>And all men carry to their graves?<em>

…

Leon raised an eyebrow, half-smiling. "Do you not know the answer, or do you want me to guess?"

"Bit of both," Merlin said with a coy shrug. Leon had a feeling that Merlin was trying to distract him. Unfortunately, a good riddle was one of the few things that could always distract him. He snorted and sat back against one of the library shelves, his brow knotted.

"Hmm, that's a tough one. How about….Absence? No, no—nothing!"

Merlin opened his mouth to object, then looked up at the ceiling as he spoke the words of the riddle silently to himself again. "Oh, yeah!" he said. "I couldn't manage the second to last line."

"I don't often try ones with more than four parts," Leon said, grinning. "I used to find riddles all the time to annoy Arthur with."

Merlin looked surprised and interested. "Did it work?"

"Well, it'd get him out of bed, if only to throw a sword at me. He loathes them."

"Good to know," Merlin laughed.

"Here, I've got one," Leon offered. "_What belongs to you but everyone uses it more than you do?_"

"My time?" Merlin said with a laugh.

"…Close," Leon said.

"My…Oh, no wait—I've heard this one! It's um—My name!"

"Right!"

"I've got to write that down," Merlin said. He grabbed one of the books and started to scribble in the margin with charcoal.

"You really have to think about every word with these things," Leon said, getting excited.

Merlin nodded enthusiastically. "Like that one—"

"—About the heart—?"

"—And the triple analogy—?"

"BRILLIANT!"

Merlin looked as if he was about to ask Leon another when they were interrupted by a cough. They looked up to see Geoffrey standing above them with his arms folded. He was glaring at them and the books, which were still strewn about the floor.

"I've got a riddle for you," he said. He stepped towards them as they spoke, making them scoot cautiously backward with each line until they ran up against a bookshelf. "_What's got four arms, four legs, desecrates books and isn't allowed in the library for a month?_"

And with super-human speed, he gathered up the fallen books and stormed off. Leon and Merlin stood up, feeling rather sheepish.

Inexplicably, Gwaine's head appeared over a stack of books. "Kids these days, don't know how to treat a library well," he said, hefting a book under his arm.

"What's that?" Merlin said.

"This?" Gwaine held the book up. "Naked ladies."

Leon blinked. Merlin blushed.

"It's art!" Gwaine said defensively. "Hey, hey—I've got a riddle!_ A thing of much interest lies on the thigh of a man, under it's master's cloak. It's stiff and hard and pokes inside a_—"

"A key," Merlin and Leon said in unison. Gwaine cursed under his breath.

"I've been meaning to talk to you two anyway," Leon said, heading for the door. "We need to plan the homecoming banquet."

"You mean feast, right?" Gwaine said hopefully.

Leon rolled his eyes. "Fine. A feast. You'll still have to dress up."

"Damn!"


	8. Chapter 8

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Everyone gets the castle ready for Arthur's return from his honeymoon. Galehaut has some advice to give on curtains (we don't own "sassy gay friend" but we think its hilarious), and Gwaine states another riddle from the Anglo-Saxon tradition.

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date.

…

Seriously? Riddles? Just when Gwaine thought these two couldn't get any more lame...

"Hey, I got another one," Gwaine jeered, "I am a wondrous creature: to women a thing of joyful expectation, to close-lying companions serviceable. I harm no city-dweller excepting my slayer alone. My stem is erect and tall—I stand up in bed—and whiskery somewhere down below. Sometimes a—"

"Onion," Leon and Merlin said together, in simultaneous boredom and annoyance, perhaps sensing they were being teased.

Gwaine was actually surprised they guessed that one—Merlin didn't even blush—and _he _thought it was a good one—but perhaps this was only further testament to what egg-headed losers Gwaine chose for companions.

Now Leon, as if being a nerd wasn't enough, was dragging him and Merlin off to _redecorate_. The Round Table room needed more than the cleaning the servants had given it, apparently, and Leon didn't support Gwaine's attempt to "liven the place up" by sticking a bundle of wildflowers in an ale tankard in the center of the table.

"We'll start the feast with a recital, I think, a bit of poetry," Leon said, as he and Merlin together tacked a unicorn tapestry to the wall.

Gwaine wrinkled up his nose. "I hate poetry recitals," he complained, as Leon and Merlin moved on to the next wall hanging.

"Well, the bards have put something special together for Arthur's return, something about him taking over all of Rome, I'm not sure. It sounds rather exciting, though."

"Hm. Lots of battle sequences?" Gwaine said, willing to be impressed as he eased the left hook down a few inches until the tapestry was unevenly hanging.

"Probably," Leon continued, as he tacked up another wall-hanging. "I hear _you're_made out to be quite fierce in this version."

"Oh, fine," Gwaine said. "What else did you have in mind?" he asked, as he replaced the expensive-looking vase in the center of the table with his tankard full of flowers.

Merlin, who recognized what Gwaine was doing, clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from giggling, although Leon continued straightening up the room, oblivious. It was kind of sad, actually.

"And then I'll give a small speech welcoming the happy couple back to Camelot," Leon went on, proceeding to drape covers over the backs of the wooden chairs.

"Sounds good, so long as you don't want me to talk," Gwaine said, as he followed around behind Leon, flipping the covers inside-out.

"What's on the menu?" Merlin asked, who had come up behind Gwaine now and was trying to right the seat covers, glaring at Gwaine to cut it out.

"Yeah, the menu, talk about that," Gwaine encouraged, reaching back to upset the cover Merlin had just corrected.

"Roast swan, turnips, carrots, white bread..."

Merlin had snatched the seat cover from Gwaine, but Gwaine kept hold of it, and the two were now engaged in a silent tug-of-war as Leon went on.

"And that's after the green leaf salad and the chicken cream soup. There will also be a fish dish depending on the catch—what are you two doing?" Leon demanded.

Without missing a beat, Gwaine changed tactics, immediately smoothing the fabric he had previously been trying to offset. "Tsk, tsk," he said, shaking his head, "can't trust you two to do anything! If this is your idea of decorating-"

Now Leon saw the askew tapestries and the tankard full of flowers. He glared at Gwaine.

Merlin also glared at Gwaine.

Then they looked at each other. Gwaine was absolutley beginning to suspect foul play when, "Fong him!" they shouted in unison and dove for him.

Giggling impishly, Gwaine ducked and rolled, making a break for the door. He darted out just as a figure stepped into it, blocking the pursuit. Gwaine glanced behind him, the shock of red hair confirming his suspicions.

As Leon and Merlin were accosted by Galehaut's "What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?" Gwaine kept laughing and he kept running, resolving not to stop until he reached the tavern and leaving the girls to do the decorating.

…

Following closely on Gwaine's heels and moving too quickly to stop, Merlin crashed right into the knight blocking the doorway, stopped suddenly, and tripped backwards over his own feet. He landed on Leon's feet and nearly bowled the tall man over as well, but Leon had slightly better balance and merely stepped back.

"Hello, Galehaut. We were attempting to redecorate… Gwaine was helping," Leon said as he reached down and hauled Merlin back to his feet.

"If you call that helping…" Merlin added, looking out the door where Gwaine had gone running just a few moments before.

"And that is why the tapestries are crooked? What is that horrendous thing sitting in the middle of the table?" Galehaut asked, taking a moment to look around the room. Leon glared at the tankard with assorted wildflowers and Merlin stifled a laugh.

"We're just sorting it out now. That's Gwaine's idea of a centerpiece," Leon said, definitely sounding put-upon. Galehaut tsk-ed sympathetically and then shrugged.

"Well, surely two strapping lads like yourselves won't have a problem with _that_," he said, eyeing both Leon and Merlin for one long moment. Merlin was a little taken aback, although he wasn't sure whether it was being called a "strapping lad" or that particular look, he couldn't quite say. Leon didn't seem to notice.

"Well, no. But it is rather bothersome. Galehaut, have you met Merlin?" Leon asked, and Merlin, realizing he was being introduced, had enough manners to shake hands with Galehaut as the red-head smiled brightly and practically bounded forward to shake his hand.

"I have not yet had the pleasure! But Lancelot has mentioned you. Actually, most of the knights have mentioned you. It cannot be an easy job being manservant to the king," he said, and then steam-rolled right over Leon's attempt to introduce him by doing the job himself, "I am Galehaut. I believe you were also away when I arrived." Merlin smiled nervously, because Galehaut had very little concept of personal space… or at least, if he did, it was a definition with which Merlin was not familiar. He reacted with complete bewilderment when he suspected girls of flirting with him, and the growing suspicion that Galehaut was flirting with both he and Leon was a bit beyond bewildering. Not that he held the knight's eccentricity against him, but he wasn't sure how he felt about being on the receiving end. Awkward.

"Oh, it's not… so bad, really. I'm used to it," he responded, because awkward or not, at least Galehaut was being nice. Leon, noticing that Merlin was definitely taking on the appearance of a startled woodland creature, stepped in and took Galehaut to one side to get some advice on table decorations, leaving Merlin to correct the wall hangings. He was fixing the left hook Gwaine had so helpfully lowered when the right hook of the same tapestry chose that moment to loosen and also fall several feet. Merlin frowned at it, suspecting perhaps more of Gwaine's silly tricks, and he was still frowning at it when footsteps crossed the floor and Lancelot stepped up the ladder Leon had been using to fix the errant corner.

"You could have fixed it, no one was watching," he said with a grin to the warlock, who grinned back and looked over at Leon and Galehaut as he got the left corner of the tapestry hanging at a correct angle again and climbed down the ladder. When they rejoined the two other knights, Merlin was surprised to see Galehaut look up in curiosity and then light up like… well, sort of like Arthur when he saw Gwen and thought no one was looking.

"Hello, Lancelot! Come to help decorate?" he asked, shaking Lancelot warmly by the hand by way of greeting. Lancelot just grinned back, and shook his head.

"No, I was passing by and saw that tapestry over there trying to eat Merlin," he responded, and when all of the knights turned to look at him, Merlin turned red and again did an impression of a startled young deer.

"Ah yes, ever the honorable knight, is our Sir Lancelot," Galehaut laughed. Merlin glanced at Leon, trying to figure out if he was really as oblivious has he seemed, and from Leon's lack of curiosity at Galehaut's very partial behavior towards Lancelot, was forced to assume that Leon really was as blissfully unaware of things as he seemed. Then they all went back to decorating the room, Galehaut helping Leon with tapestries, and Merlin and Leon fixing the chair covers while Merlin whistled the repetitive and annoyingly memorable little tune Lancelot had been whistling just earlier.

…


	9. Chapter 9

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **A short one today, where we introduce another character that will start to come up a lot in the "episode four" of our series.

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

Gwaine's mother didn't raise an idiot.

He knew, when he was hiding out from the regulars, he should always go to the tavern, but he shouldn't go to _the _tavern.

The Rising Sun was the best place in town, with the best drinks for the best price, but there was this one place in the lower town Gwaine quite liked called the Broken Drum, where the alcohol didn't taste _quite _like sheep dip, and anyway was cheap enough for it not to matter, and you only got in a fight if you, like, stabbed someone's granny in the face.

For Camelot, it was a seedy dive: but considering some of the haunts Gwaine had survived, it was practically Cockayne.

And it had the added advantage that no one recognized him here, or, rather, if they did, they didn't say. He put his money down first, as was the custom here (sadly) and ordered an ale. It was black and syrupy and warm, but Gwaine liked it, in a weird way, probably the same part of him that liked cheap harlots and planning to sleep when he was dead.

The problem with the Broken Drum was that you didn't go there to meet people. You didn't talk to strangers at this tavern. You came here to get away, to not be recognized, to meet someone or pretend to be someone you weren't. Which was sad, in his opinion: the main drawback of the place, which was why he only went here when he _really _needed to hide.

It was therefore a surprise when a young man sidled up to the bar next to him.

"Can I get the next round?" he asked. He was blonde, martial-looking, dressed in fine clothes over fine armor. A sword hung at his side, though he seemed as if he wanted to hide this under his cloak. He had a dishonest face—Gwaine liked that in a man.

Gwaine narrowed his eyes and looked around him, as if expecting a fight, but nothing else was out of the ordinary, so,

"Sure," he said.

The man grinned and sat down.

"My name's Kilhwch," the stranger said.

Another oddity. You didn't just _introduce _yourself in a place like this! Unless it was a fake name. But Gwaine usually came up with things like William and Henry when he was coming up with fake names, not something that sounded like he was hawking up a loogie.

"You're new here, aren't you?"

"And you're a knight of Camelot, aren't you?"

Gwaine froze. He'd left his armor and cape behind, though it was possible he would be recognized by his countenance alone. Still-

Gwaine laughed and took a deep pull on his ale. "New in town, but not naive. A hustler."

"Something like that," Kilhwch grinned.

Gwaine liked this guy, and they drank in silence for a while. "So what brings you to Camelot?"

"The business of pleasure."

"Ha. Barkeep, another round. But seriously."

Kilhwch waggled his eyebrows. "I have business with your king?"

Gwaine's hand went instinctively to his sword.

"Easy, champ, not that kind of business. I'm actually a cousin of the King, myself."

"Wait, what?" Gwaine practically choked on his beer. "Aren't you supposed to _announce_that sort of thing? Write a letter on the royal letterhead, have heralds announce your arrival, that sort of thing?"

The blonde man shrugged. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

Gwaine pursed his lips, considering. "Fair enough."

They drank in silence again. A serious drinker. Was there anything _not _cool about this guy?

"You do know the King is still on his honeymoon?"

"Wasn't sure, actually, but good to know. Say, you wouldn't happen to know the best haunts in this town? A bar, a brawl, and a brothel, I like to see one in every town. You look like a man with similar predilections: can I count on your recommendations, sir...?"

Gwaine chuckled. "Gwaine. Sir Gwaine. Knight of Camelot. Well, I'd recommend the Rising Sun-usually good for a fine drink, lovely ladies, and a fair fight. Me and the boys will be there later tonight if you'd like to join us."

"Nope. Had plans to see the sights tonight."

Gwaine nodded. "Don't miss lighting the ramparts at sundown."

"You won't mention I was here? Only I wanted to surprise my cousin."

Gwaine shook his head, belching under his breath. "If you're looking for a place to stay that isn't the castle, the Seamstresses' Guild usually will have a few rooms to rent. Though I could get you a decent room in the palace without name-dropping if you like."

"Oooh, Seamstresses!"

"Not _that_kind of Seamstresses, I'm afraid," Gwaine said with a wink. "Camelot's a quaint little place."

"I'm sure it is. Well, I'll be seeing you around, Gwaine," Kilhwch said, standing, and, "Here," he said, slamming a coin down on the counter. "Last one's on me."

Gwaine washed down the lingering grin with more black ale as Kilhwch walked out the door. He'd be fun to have around the castle, Gwaine mused. He finished his last beer and left in a hurry. Leon and Merlin would almost certainly forgive him by now, and he had somewhere to be.


	10. Chapter 10

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Our favorite night of all, Friday night, has arrived! A nice long chapter for you this time, with all the hijinks therein. Some sources: Leon is using the German-style of fencing (with English names, and probably altered to better suit one-and-a-half hand fighting). Songs included are by the Doors, Elton John, Elvis Presley, and Carlos Santana.

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

"Alright, one more set? Long point….forward."

_Thunk_. Leon's sword struck the shield Merlin was holding square in the middle.

"Alright, Plough. Middle hew. Double."

_Thunk thunk thunk_, Leon's sword struck the shield at different angles.

Merlin peeked over the shield at Leon. "You ready?"

Leon wiped some sweat off his forehead and returned to center, holding the training sword in front of him. "Right."

Merlin took a deep breath and ducked behind the shield again. "Part, middle, over, fool, change, middle, under! Squinting-hew, overrun! Squinting-hew, change! Part, plough, under, over, middle, double! Front hew!—front, front!"

Leon let out a cry as he tried to correct midswing, but the rhythm was lost. He sheathed his sword.

"Well done!" Merlin said, lowering the shield.

"Thanks." He held the hilt out to Merlin. "Would you like to have a go?"

"No, no—I've got to muck out the horses after this."

"Alright, I think I've had enough today anyway."

Merlin nodded, and together they walked across the training field in the evening light toward the stables.

"Shall I tack up your horse? Friday night, out with the lads again?"

Leon nodded. "I'll take Lamrei, thanks."

They entered the stables in silence and as Merlin got the tack, Leon coaxed his courser to the front of her stall with a click of his tongue. He prided himself on having very well-trained horses. He rubbed her muzzle with a smile.

"Er—sorry, which one's Lamrei again?"

Leon laughed at Merlin's hopeless face. "This one, Merlin!" Leon said.

"Right, right." He did not appear convinced, but he started saddling the horse nonetheless. "Sorry, they just look so similar."

"What do?" Leon said, still grinning.

"Your horses. All nice, clean bay. The courser, the destrier, the palfrey—not that there's anything wrong with that," he added. "Very…tidy."

Leon's grin faded. "No—no, they're quite different if you look closely. Lamrei's got softer eyes, and she's got a snip that's lighter. The packhorse you can tell from miles away—the fetlocks are very distinctive." He realized he was rambling, and changed the subject. "_Two horses, swiftest travelling, harnessed in a pair, and grazing ever in places distant from them_."

"Er—the—barbarians?"

"No. Why don't you get the palfrey, and you can think about it over an ale."

"Oh, I've got the mucking up to do," Merlin said.

"But you already did it this morning."

"Yeah, well—if I get it done tonight, I won't have to do it tomorrow!"

"Oh, come on. You can sing that song you've been humming all day. What is it?" Leon tried to think of the tune that he heard Merlin humming earlier, but it was drowned out by a loud singing outside, drawing nearer, followed by the figure of Gwaine appearing in the stables.

"…_Try to run, try to hide, break on through to the other side!_Hello, lads!" he said, grinning. "Ready to go, Leon?"

"I was just trying to convince Merlin to come along," Leon said. "Honestly, Merlin, you can ride one of mine."

"Yours?" Gwaine looked aghast. "You *color-code* your horses! What Merlin needs is one of *my* rides…"

…

"Who's a sweet ride," Gwaine cooed, stroking the long muzzle of a huge black warhorse, "that's right, me boy-o, _you _are!" The steed seemed to take offence at being so baby-talked and snorted indignantly, tugging his head free.

"Hey!" Gwaine grabbed an ear as Studly Royale went to bite him. As Merlin and Leon watched, horrified, Gwaine climbed up on the fence that protected him from the grumpy beast, half-wrestling, half-calming the horse, alternating a soft voice with an authoritative one. "Here now, easy, _easy_! Itchin' for a scrap, are you? Down, boy, down!"

"Gwaine, maybe you oughta—"

"Oh, no, he's fine, just bloody bored," Gwaine swung himself into the stable with the black beauty, who was now looking decidedly peeved. "Okay, now, I've had enough of your guff, see? You want to go for a ride or don't you?"

Curiously, instead of trampling him to death, the horse began to calm as Gwaine ran his hands over his dark coat, shushing him. "Dumb bastard," he said, but he said it affectionately and pressed his forehead to Studly's nose.

Merlin watched nervously.

"Oh, don't worry, Merlin, I wouldn't subject anyone else to Studly Royale's temper, ha! I was thinking you could ride Leon Junior!"

"You got _another _horse?" Merlin cried, at the same moment Leon stammered, "You've named a horse after _me_?"

"Oh, aye," Gwaine replied, climbing over the dividers to get from one horse to the next. Leon Junior started at this new intruder to his pen, but although he whinnied softly, he didn't cause a fuss. "See, he's a good boy, isn't he? Follows all the rules, and won't get mad for nothing. And he rides great. Come on, Merlin, say hello. And look at what a pretty color he is!"

The horse the next stall over huffed indignantly. "All _right_, Pussy Willow, you're pretty, too!" he said, reaching a hand through to scratch the white palfrey.

"How many horses do you have, Gwaine?" Leon asked, sounding exasperated.

Gwaine had to think about this. "Um. Nine? No, ten. No, nine. Nine: Studly Royale, Pussy Willow, Leon Junior, and Nero, and then there's Bacardi, Scrumpy, Beefeater, and Drambuie." He pointed each one out down the line, immensely proud of his equine fleet.

"How can you possibly _afford _them all?" Leon wondered.

Gwaine thought he was kidding. "What _else _am I supposed to do with all this money we get?"

"Pick up the tab once in a while?" Merlin tried.

Leon snorted, but Gwaine didn't see what was funny. "Ach, see how you are? I offer to let you ride me third-best horse and you insult me! Put that bloody rake _down_, Merlin, I already got someone coming in to do the mucking out!"

"What? Who?"

Gwaine shrugged. "Some bloke, tanner's son, I think. Offered a silver coin to him for his trouble."

"That's more than I get in a whole week!" Merlin squeaked.

"What, really? I could pay _you _to do it, haha. Still, you should come out with us just the same, Merlin. I'll buy you dinner. And I _might _even pay for drinks!"

…

Free food was one of those things that Merlin was generally incapable of refusing. Gwaine, he reflected, probably knew this, and that was probably why he had hauled out the bright gold horse's saddle before Merlin had even agreed to going to the tavern. And all the knights knew that if Merlin was distracted, you could hand him almost anything and he'd take it. So it was no surprise to him that he found himself putting the saddle on the horse even before he finally decided it probably wouldn't kill him to go to the tavern.

"But…" he said, not even sure what he was protesting.

"You've already saddled up, you may as well come with us," Leon said helpfully. He'd wandered off and returned with Lamrei, who'd been standing quietly where Merlin had saddled her. While Gwaine took his life into his own hands saddling up the homicidal Royale, Merlin swung into Leon Jr.'s saddle and looked down at the horse's ears as they swiveled back to him. The horse snorted softly and took a few hesitant steps outside. Leon followed Merlin out of the stable on Lamrei, and they waited for Gwaine to appear, hopefully on Royale and not being dragged along by the reins he occasionally chose to wrap around his wrist to keep the big black horse from walking away without a rider.

Gwaine did eventually manage to get Royale saddled, and he even got into the saddle. Then Royale decided he was tired of waiting and blasted out of the stable, scattering chickens and geese that loitered in front of the door, and surprising both Lamrei and Leon Jr., not to mention their riders, as he tore past them. Leon's bay leaped after them, and Merlin finally got Leon Jr. to follow at a sedate canter. He was left bringing up the end of what turned out to be a mildly destructive train, as Gwaine went hooting and hollering through the town with Leon on his heels scolding at the top of his lungs, and neither of them paying a lot of attention to what they nearly ran over.

But soon Gwaine's horse had had enough of galloping on the uneven cobbles and slowed down. Really, he slowed to a walk quite suddenly, causing Lamrei to nearly crash into him, which very nearly resulted in a kicking and biting match in the middle of the thoroughfare before both knights got their horses under control. Merlin caught up with them and rode between the two war horses, since the sun-gold horse was not inclined to react much at all to mock-bites, and Lamrei stopped trying to fight once separated from Royale.

"You owe someone almost a full cart of cabbages," Merlin remarked as they clopped along, and Gwaine laughed while Leon looked chagrined.

"Cabbages. Who needs cabbages?" Gwaine asked. Clearly, in his opinion, cabbages occupied the same general category as other disgusting things, including probably all other vegetables.

"We can't all survive on a steady diet of ale and apples," Leon said from Merlin's other side, which caused Merlin to snort and then laugh as Gwaine glared at Leon and Leon grinned innocently.

"I eat other things!" Gwaine finally protested.

"Like that chicken I saw you and Percival stealing from the kitchens?" Merlin asked wickedly.

"The one you saw us stealing while you were nicking one of those little steak pies?" Gwaine countered.

"I was getting laundry!"

"In the _kitchens_?"

"The steam gets the wrinkles out!"

"Sir Gwaine! Merlin!" The bickering pair both turned and looked at Leon as he broke in on their argument. Merlin looked abashed. Gwaine grinned unapologetically at the older knight.

"Would you like to keep arguing, or shall we go in?" Leon asked when he had their attention, and after he'd stopped Gwaine elbowing Merlin with a flat look. Both Merlin and Gwaine turned to look in front of them, and saw that indeed, they were almost to the Rising Sun.

The other knights were already there, but when the three walked in, they hulloo'ed and waved them over and made room. Lancelot was up on the stage singing some vaguely mournful song, which Merlin caught a few lines of as he wandered in.

_"But you misread my meaning when I met you  
>Closed the door and left me blinded by the light…"<em>

He just shook his head and sat down in the spot Galehaut offered next to him, waving a general hello to everyone as he did so. Lancelot finished his tune and sat down with a grin quite at odds with the words he'd just been singing, on Merlin's other side. He clapped Merlin on the back as he sat down and Percival wandered up to the stage with some of the others.

_"You can shake an apple off an apple tree…"_

Stuck between Lancelot and Galehaut, who had started chattering away the second Lancelot sat down, Merlin sat quietly and tried to stay out of the way of the conversation for the entirety of the song before Gwaine, who he thought had been up playing some instrument or another, sat down and set a drink in front of Merlin.

"What is that?" Merlin asked, eyeing the thing a bit distrustfully. Gwaine managed to pretend he was deeply injured by this mistrust.

"It's only mead," he said, "It won't bite you. Besides, you can't sing unless you've had a drink!"

Merlin, who had been taking an experimental sip just to make sure Gwaine wasn't lying, nearly spit the honey-sweet alcohol all over his friend. Instead, he swallowed, half-choked, and when he got his breath back, tried to shrink into the bench while Galehaut, Lancelot, and Gwaine all looked at him.

"Uhhhh," he said, trying to quickly think of a reason he couldn't sing. Seeing the deer-in-headlights look on Merlin's face, Galehaut laughed and spoke up before Merlin could say anything.

"Ah, perhaps I should sing? Percival was just saying I had to, some rite of passage or something," he said, and Gwaine considered this for a second. Finally, after another meditative drink of whatever he was drinking, he assented. While Galehaut was up singing, and before Gwaine could corral him into singing after the newest knight, Merlin got up and went to sit across from Leon.

"That riddle about the horses," he said by way of greeting, and Leon smiled.

"Do you have it?" he asked. Merlin shook his head, smiling wryly.

"No, not exactly. Well, not at all, really," he answered. He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer or a hint, but anything was better than being forced to sing in front of a bunch of people.

…

"Think about…other things the horses could be." Leon took a drink of his ale.

Elyan started singing a song about a brown-eyed girl and Merlin's face lit up. "Eyes!" He wrinkled his nose. "Not sure if that was your best one, though. The clues are a bit foggy…"

"Oh, no—you've got to find one for me now. Anyway, I think I'm to be playing lute on this one."

He pulled his lute out of its case and got on the little stage with Elyan and Galehaut, and the other Friday Knights followed suit. Leon played rhythm-lute throughout most of the night, only taking a break to play drum on a foreign song called "Oye Como Va," a tune which apparently Lancelot, Elyan and Gwaine loved but one which neither Percival or Leon had ever heard of. The rhythm was easy to learn and fun to play, though, and they enjoyed it while the other three took turns singing the foreign lyrics and playing equally foreign instruments.

Afterwards they played a few dice games, which Leon hadn't played since the massacre by Cenred's men. They were soldiers, of course—death came with the job, and it was best not to dwell on it—but he was afraid it might be awkward, especially for people who lived through it all like Stuart and himself. But it wasn't bad—it was fun, even. He hadn't relaxed like this in a while, and they laughed and joked their way well into the night. Now and then he thought he saw Bedivere out of the corner of his eye, or mistook Merlin's laugh for Galahad's. He tried not to think about it.

Gwaine had just finished drinking from the Rising Sun's Aurochs horn, having realized that Stuart would give him the lot free if he could take all seven pints of it down in one go. Everyone cheered as he just managed it, and Leon joined in.

"Come on, Merlin! Your turn!" Gwaine shouted.

Leon glanced at Merlin, who was grinning goofily at the huge drinking horn.

"Right," he said, and stood up, knocking an empty tankard of ale over in the process.

"No one can drink as much as Gwaine," Leon said, trying to keep the mood cheerful while he reached over to pull Merlin back down into his seat.

Merlin shook him off. "Is that a challenge?"

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" Gwaine shouted happily.

Leon gave Merlin a warning glare. "Come on, you're going to poison yourself trying that—sit down."

"Don't be a wet hen, Leon!" Percival said.

Gwaine laughed. "Drink fast, Merlin or you'll never manage it!"

"Stop encouraging him, Gwaine!"

Merlin grabbed the horn. "Nah, I can do it! Doesn't look that big—!"

"Listen, Galahad, you're—!" He stopped, instantly turning bright red.

Gwaine, Merlin and Elyan laughed, though a large portion of the tavern had gone silent as well. "Don't you mean Galehaut?" Elyan laughed.

"Don't you mean *Merlin*?" Gwaine said, which sent them into further bouts of laughter.

"Where'd Galahad come from?" Merlin giggled.

But Leon was finished making an idiot of himself. He left them laughing behind and hurriedly made his way to the bar.

"Another, Stuart," he said, pushing his tankard forward. Owen caught his eye—he had heard Leon's outburst—and quickly took the tankard to fill it.  
>Well, that was certainly something that didn't need to be brought up—here of all places….<p>

"What's wrong? Who's Galahad?"

Leon looked up to see Merlin standing beside him. "It's nothing," Leon said, looking to see if Stuart had finished refilling his drink. But the barrel was empty, and the barman disappeared into the back to fetch another.

"Was he a soldier?" Merlin asked, this time more quietly. Leon glanced at him, and saw genuine concern in the young man's face. He sighed. It wasn't really a secret. People just didn't talk about it.

"Yes. He was training with me to become a knight. You may have seen him around. Brown hair—shorter than me." He paused, and cursing Stuart's slowness, continued with, "His parents—well, he was about your age, and we were from the same province, so they asked me to look after him. I should have been able to, second in command and all that. And I swore to guard him with my life. He was one of the most promising lads of the bunch. He was kind and he worked hard—like you do." He shrugged. "And when the great dragon escaped…. Anyway, we try not to talk about it. The tavern's no place for that kind of thing."

"What happened to him?" Merlin asked, breathlessly.

Leon glanced at Merlin then down at the bar. "He was killed in one of the last fire attacks." Oh God, it still hurt to admit it, even now, years later. He blinked and pushed back from the bar. "Why don't you have my last pint? It's been a long day."

"Leon—"

"Give it to Gwaine, actually—you've had more than enough to drink tonight. Good night, Merlin," he said, and headed for the exit. As he opened the door he heard Gwaine say, "Are you going to drink that?"

…

From time to time, Merlin unexpectedly found out about the consequences of things he'd done years and years ago. Usually he heard it second-hand, or from someone who'd known someone who'd known someone, and it always made him uncomfortable and oddly numb. But to find himself face-to-face with the grief the dragon had caused when he'd let it free, and not someone he barely knew and would have felt bad for anyway, but Leon, of all people… Merlin felt that familiar knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach and frowned. He stood starring at the door after it clattered shut behind the blonde knight, and didn't initially hear Gwaine asking him if he was going to drink the ale Leon had left.

"Merlin! On second thought, you better let me handle that," Gwaine said, mistaking Merlin's inattentiveness for some sort of momentary, alcohol-induced stupor. Not wanting to explain anything at all to his friend right at the moment, Merlin forced a fairly convincing grin over what he knew was one of his most recognizable kicked-puppy looks and turned to Gwaine.

"Oh, er… yes, you can have it," he said, handing him the pint. He heard some girl giggle from just beyond Gwaine and glanced over the man's shoulder to see not one, but two young ladies in truly outlandish clothes. One stepped forward and practically hung off Gwaine's shoulder, while her twin sister, identical in all but her hair color, which was brown instead of blonde, looked over Gwaine's other shoulder, blinking a little owlishly. Her attempt to make her eyes look large and doe-like were lost on Gwaine as he took a drink of the ale.

"Ladies, now, you're going to make me spill my beer, and that would be a true tragedy!" he laughed at the two, who both giggled and stopped draping themselves all over him.

"But you said we could meet the other knights!" they mock-whined.

"So I did! Merlin, why don't you come sit back down with us instead of lurking about up here all by yourself!" he said, turning and leading the simpering women to the knights' table. He didn't look back, apparently expecting Merlin to follow, but Merlin had had quite enough of the tavern tonight. Before anyone could think to drag him back to the table, he slunk to the door and slipped outside, holding it as it swung shut so it wouldn't clatter. His absence was apparently not noticed, as he heard the uproarious laughter of knights and the high-pitched girlish giggles of the twin sisters.

…

"Goodnight, gentleman," Galehaut hiccuped demurely, and smiled. "It was ever so thoughtful of you to invite me to such a spectacle. I assure you I had a most pleasant evening...er, morning, now, isn't it? Teehee!" he said, and shut his door.

The last three standing Friday Knights staggered down the hall, mumbling their good-nights as they tried to locate their rooms without incident.

"'Night, Perce. 'Night, Elyan."

"'Night, Lance. 'Night Perce."

"'Night, Elyan. 'Night, Lance," Percival replied, walking into the doorframe instead of the door to his room and giggling. "Wait. Wheredidda others go?"

Elyan rolled his eyes and just shut his door, leaving Lancelot, who was probably more sober and definitely more patient, to explain things. "The others? They've just gone to bed. Leon and Merlin left early, remember? And Gwaine stayed behind with Cadi or Mari or whichever one it was..."

Percival giggled again, and hiccuped. "Ohhhh yeah!"

"All right, you big lump, it's past your bedtime," Lancelot urged, shoving Percival gently into his room. He helped the bigger knight off with his boots and made sure he was sleeping safely before he blew out the low-burning candle and shut the door quietly after him.

All was dark and silent in Camelot. It was a bit scary, but beautiful. Lancelot gave a contented sigh and had just grasped the handle to his own room when he heard a whisper—

_Lancelot..._

Lancelot looked around, but there was no one there. Assuming it was the wind or his imagination, Lancelot opened his door, just as-

_Sir Lancelot, please..._

Okay, that was definitely not the wind.

"Hello?" Lancelot asked.

Nothing.

"Is anyone there?"

_Lancelot!_

The voice! He knew it! "Gwen? Guinevere?"

_Lancelot, I need you!_

"I'm coming, Gwen!" he called, suddenly heedless of the hour or the darkness of the castle, charging down the hallway. Her voice led him on for some time, until he was thoroughly lost and confused and anxious.

_**Lancelot!**_

Suddenly the voice was right here, behind this door, and Lancelot threw it open with wild abandon, naked sword ready, shouting "Gwen!" as he discovered—

"_Ooh_!" Came a cry from the..._bedroom?_Lancelot now found himself in.

"Galehaut?"

"Sir Lancelot!" Galehaut was sitting up in bed, white as his nightshirt, clutching somewhat dramatically at the sheets. "I—er—I had no idea!"

"No idea what?" Lancelot blurted out, putting his sword quickly behind his back and growing increasingly embarrassed. "I only thought I heard-did you hear voices?"

"None but yours, I'm afraid." Galehaut smiled warmly. "Is everything all right, Sir Lancelot?"

"Er. Yes. Everything's fine. All fine here, yes, thank you, good. How are you?" Lancelot regretted it as soon as it was out of his mouth.

"Well, you know how it is. Although I can certainly think of many a ruder awakening than your heroic physique startling me from my beauty rest, what?" he grinned impishly.

"Yes. Um." Lancelot wasn't sure how to reply to that. "Sorry to disturb you. Good night."

"And a good night to you, too, Sir Knight."

_Awkward..._


	11. Chapter 11

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **More shenanigans. Enjoy!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

Gwaine groaned at the morning light in his face, cursing himself—not for the first time—that he'd requested a bedroom with a window. He was ignoring, of course, the vast majority of the time when he would just stare out that window at the view of the sky, the town, and the world beyond that just made his heart bloody _soar_.

But, no, right now, that window was a cruel device meant to torture him, as was the light it brought with it.

Gwaine could handle his liquor, to an almost inhuman level. But last night-from what he could recall, anyway-he'd drunk Leon's, Percival's, Lancelot's, Elyan's, Galehaut's, and Merlin's liquor, as well, at which point it pretty well stopped being an ability to hold _his _liquor, as it were. And, well, the problem wasn't so much with holding it as it was with living with the consequences.

He wasn't even sure he remembered getting to his room. But this definitely was his room, so that much was good. He remembered the twins-good times—though he definitely felt in need of a bath now-and, oh, that was right: they snored. Since he vaguely remembered both of them being present (though that could have just been that he was seeing double) he could very easily see himself slipping out in the wee hours of the morning in order to actually get some rest.

Which meant he'd only been asleep a few hours. Ah, well, hoot with the owls, soar with the eagles, and all that: Gwaine heaved himself upright. He steadied, did _not _puke, and then moved to standing.

His door was open, and Lancelot wandered past, but did a double-take at the door. "When did _you_get in?"

Gwaine ignored the question in favor of gripping the doorframe to steady himself. "When did the English start _drinking _like that?" he asked Lancelot. "They drink like they don't want to live!"

Lancelot chuckled. "Seriously, Gwaine, I thought you were—" he stopped talking and blushed just in time, as both men simultaneously remembered that Cadi (or Mari?) had been a fling of Lance's once when he was trying to get over Gwen. Which was a bit awkward, if you subscribed to that six-degrees-of-separation nonsense, but Gwaine grinned:

"Snorers, the pair of 'em. I don't even remember getting here." Gwaine cast about for a clean shirt with little success. "Everyone else get in okay?"

Lancelot nodded. "You were last one in." Now he paused, and his face twitched, as if he struggled with something he didn't quite want to say.

"What is it, Lance?"

"Oh. Um. Nothing. Except, you didn't notice anything..._strange _last night, did you?"

"I was practically unconscious, Lance—"

"Okay, okay, sorry, forget I said anything," Lance said, and moved off.

Gwaine stared at the doorframe, waited for it to stop moving, but it never did. He had to find Gaius, or Merlin. His normal hangover cure just wasn't going to cut it right now. He wasn't even sure he could make it right now without poisoning himself—you know, even _more_. Maybe Merlin could magically remove a hangover. He certainly needed it after that seven-pint-binge—had he really had _two _of them? Or did he give that one to Merlin?

_Merlin_?

Gwaine straightened, suddenly sobered with worry (though the headache remained). Surely he hadn't tried to get _Merlin _to drink that horn! He couldn't weigh more than a baby bird—that thing would have killed him! _Jesus Christ_—Gwaine thought, for the scenario was still quite fuzzy—_what if I made him drink it?_ Gwaine thought hard, but he didn't really remember seeing Merlin after offering him the Auroch's horn. He didn't remember much of _anything _after that, to be fair.

Gwaine staggered toward the Physician's quarters with all the grace of a seasick mariner, but one with a very urgent mission: to make sure he hadn't killed his best friend!

…

Gwaine rushed into the stable after not finding Merlin at the Physician's quarters, looking breathless, anxious, and also a little bit green. When he spotted Merlin he made a beeline for him.

"Merlin!" he cried, sounding greatly relieved. When he heard his name, Merlin looked up and leaned on the rake he'd been using, raising his eyebrows at Gwaine.

"Uh, yes?" he said, and then blinked, "Wait, did you just get up?" He'd been awake since just after dawn, of course. Then again, he'd only had the one pint of beer last night, not... however many Gwaine had had. The knight rushed at Merlin and clapped him hard on the shoulder, grinning.

"Jesus Christ, Merlin, am I glad to see you up and about! You gave me a scare!" he exclaimed. Merlin just laughed in surprise and stumbled a little under the force of the friendly shoulder-clapping.

"What? Why?" he asked, giving up leaning on the rake to catch his balance. Gwaine shrugged.

"I don't remember a _thing_ about last night!" he admitted, and laughed, as if this was hilarious.

"You don't remember anything? I'm sure the twins won't appreciate that," Merlin said, and then dodged without even stopping to see if Gwaine planned on trying to smack him upside the head for the comment. Gwaine blinked in confusion at that, wondering why Merlin was ducking, but didn't comment. Or smack him upside the head.

"Oh, well, yeah. I remember the twins. And, ah," he puffed himself up obnoxiously, "I don't need to tell you that they'll be remembering Sir Gwaine! Hur hur hur!" Gwaine ducked out for a few moments, but returned shortly with two full buckets of water and an apple stuck in his mouth. He set the buckets down and took the apple out of his mouth. With his mouth still full, he continued: "And I remember that seven-pinter, by God!"

"You tried to get me to drink that. Leon put a stop to it," Merlin remarked. He frowned at that- and the subsequent conversation, but said nothing else. Instead, he set the rake aside and gestured carelessly at one of the buckets to levitate it and dump it in the trough before a curious horse nose could knock it over. His eyes went gold for a moment, but the bucket didn't even twitch. He glanced at Gwaine to see if he'd noticed, because... quite frankly, it was a bit bewildering and embarrassing to do magic and it not work. He tried again. Nothing. Instead of picking up the bucket, Merlin just stood there and glared at it.

Gwaine watched Merlin carefully. Unless he was still drunk—which he was pretty sure he wasn't—or was seeing things, Merlin looked distant for a minute, and sad. Then, and Gwaine only noticed because he was watching him closely, his eyes went gold. Gwaine jumped, looked around, but no one else was about, and...

Nothing happened. Which was odd. "You all right, Merlin?" Gwaine decided sufficed for both questions he wanted to ask.

Merlin hesitated for a minute before answering Gwaine. He wasn't up for starting another row about honesty. So he answered honestly, to a point. Of course, he left Leon and Galahad and all that out of it.

"Remember when we were looking for that spell? I tried to cast the one you found, but it didn't work," he said, and went to lift the water bucket. He'd neglected, however, to realize that since Gwaine had filled it, he'd filled it almost to the brim, which was much heavier than what Merlin could carry. They were big buckets...

"Or I thought it didn't. Then I couldn't put out a candle, and I thought it was because I was tired. But look," he said, and gestured a little more emphatically at the bucket, which predictably didn't do a thing. "It's like my magic isn't working," he explained a little plaintively.

Gwaine bridled, and scratched the back of his head. "Well, to be fair, I don't know what you're like really when your magic _is_working so..." But he bit back the 'I can't help you on that one, mate.' He'd find a way to help, even if it was being someone to talk to. "You think you cursed yourself, or something? Can that even happen?"

Merlin stopped and thought for a moment. "I don't think so. Gaius would know, though..." he trailed off. "I don't feel cursed," he added with a shrug, but he guessed he couldn't rule it out. What if he _had_cursed himself on accident? Finally, he was forced to admit it. "I don't know. But I've never not been able to do magic," he said, sounding more than a little frustrated, and only adding to his frustration by trying to lift the bucket again and sloshing the water out onto his boots. Wonderful. Who didn't love wearing soggy shoes? And he couldn't just wave them dry like he might usually do.

"Okay, okay, easy," Gwaine said, diving for the buckets. "I'm sure we'll figure it out." He took the buckets in turn and dumped the water into the trough where the horses waited eagerly, before Merlin could get more irritated. "Just don't-I don't know if you can over-strain yourself as far as magic is concerned, but if anyone was going to figure out how to pull a magic-muscle or something, it'd be you, so just—" he patted Merlin gently on both arms, giving up on what he wanted Merlin to do. "Maybe it's not you, anyway. Could be something else." He shrugged. "Anyway, I better let Leon know," he said. Merlin gave him a look that implied he had something witty to say, but wasn't going to say it.

"Not, you know, any of this," Gwaine waved his hand at the buckets, "But I mean, remember when we...well, let's say he just gets fussy when I don't let him know what's on. I'll make up something. Just so he can keep an eye out. As will I." With that, he grinned like a fool, chucked his apple core off the back wall of the stable and into a bucket, and ducked outside, already half-running.

…

Gwaine was beginning to suspect that he was still drunk, as he proceeded, half-running, back to the castle to hunt for Leon. Stairs moved underneath him, the floor tilted, and walls walked right out in front of him. At least, he _hoped _he was still drunk, because that would make a whole lot more sense than...

Someone...tilting the room on him?

And as for Merlin's magic not working, that _definitely _meant something was wrong, though he naturally didn't want Merlin to know he was worried. And he _really _didn't want Leon to know!

But, still, he ought to be _warned_.

Which didn't mean Gwaine didn't feel justified making a detour from the stables to Leon's chambers by way of the kitchens, because he desperately needed to sober up.

The kitchens were rather empty of people, quite luckily. He flirted his way past a girl sweeping at the door, snuck his way past another baking bread, and made his way to the cupboards in the back. The pre-breakfast apple made him crave cheese, and of course he would require more apples to go with. He cursed himself that he hadn't brought his cloak or was wearing much more than a loose shirt and trousers, and was just puzzling how he was going to smuggle the goods out short of stuffing the apples in his shirt and going as a woman when—

The cupboard moved.

Gwaine experienced a moment of terrifying deja-vu—remembering what he had thought was a drunken dream of his own wardrobe growling at him hungrily—as the giant wall cupboard opened its doors, growled, and _moved_.

_Okay, I'm not that drunk!_ was all he had time to think before the wardrobe leapt upon him, and with one devouring bite, snapped him up and locked him inside.

…

Leon made his way across the courtyard, hoping to get training started a few minutes early today. He had to get ready for the dinner with Elaine tonight. Granted, dinner wasn't for another eight or nine hours, but he didn't exactly know how long getting ready took for something like this. He could do with a bath, and his beard needed trimming, the menu needed to be prepared…

A quick head count told him that everyone who needed to be present at training was, (except for Gwaine) but they were just sitting around chatting. It was then that Leon noticed that the sword boxes hadn't been brought out. He cast around the courtyard for Merlin, and caught a flash of blue as Merlin moved about in the stables. Leon jogged over.

"Merlin," he said, hoping to gloss over last night's little conversation completely, "do you think you could get the training kit out, please? Only I was hoping to start a bit early today."

Merlin looked up. "Oh—sorry! Gwaine came in and distracted me and—I'll just go get it now, it'll be ready in a minute."

"I'll save you a trip," Leon said, knowing it would be more efficient if they both carried the training equipment out, and followed Merlin to one of the sheds where the practice swords and shields were kept.

"Did Gwaine find you?"

Leon shook his head. "He's not even on the field yet. Probably still reeling from that seven-pinter."

"No, I mean, he said he was looking for you. He, er—said he had to talk to you about something."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure he'll be down—"

Leon stopped when he saw a kitchen maid running across the courtyard at breakneck speeds towards them. She didn't appear to want to stop any time soon, and ran full-on into Merlin, who just managed to catch her despite the fact that she knocked the breath out of him.

"Oh! Sorry!" the kitchen maid said, obviously flustered.

"No problem," Merlin gasped, clutching his solar plexus.

"What is it?" Leon demanded.

"Oh, Sir Leon," the kitchen maid stammered, "I didn't know who else to turn to…"

"What's happened?"

"Only Sir Gwaine—you do know how Sir Gwaine likes to get into the kitchens, sir—he sneaked in this morning when he thought I wasn't looking, and, well, he's gone and gotten himself locked in the bread cupboard!"

Merlin gave a sort of cough, which Leon presumed was his attempt at breathless laughter. Leon looked at the kitchen maid in despair. "What?"

"We did try to get it open, sir, but it won't budge!"

"Yeah, I bet he's *holding* it shut," Leon growled. He glanced at Merlin, who was now rolling on the grass laughing his head off. "I'd better go deal with this—do you think you can manage?"

"Hahaha—oh yeah, sure—hahaha!..."

"I'm really rather worried," the kitchen maid continued as Leon and she made their way back toward the kitchens, "That cupboard doesn't even have a lock! There's some odd things been going on in this castle..."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Leon offered, over Merlin's distant laughter.

…

This was mad. Why the hell—_how _the hell—had the cupboard just come to life like that? Had he _not _been that drunk when his wardrobe moved at him night before last? Did this have anything to do with why Merlin's magic didn't work? What's next, the gargoyles on the awnings come to life and eat people?

This was annoying. All he wanted was a bit of cheese, and now he was stuck in this small, dark cupboard. He was probably sitting on a loaf of bread, which was a shame. He'd still eat it, anyway.

This was ridiculous! He slammed his fist—again—against the door, but it didn't budge. He was a Knight of Camelot, not the bloody tin soldier! He couldn't believe he let it catch him, much less keep him! This was an insult to his...to loads of things!

This was terrifying.

Oh, not that he'd ever admit it, of course. Gwaine didn't go in much for honor or glory, but he did have _pride_, which was different. It wasn't the dark that was the problem, or even, really, the smallness of the space. Um, okay, maybe it was a bit of that. It was the being stuck, being _trapped_, that—

Well, he didn't like it, anyway.

He pounded against the door, sitting back to strike it with both feet, gaining nothing but sore knees. He didn't call for help, exactly, oh no, not Sir Gwaine, but he was sure his struggles—the banging and the pounding and the cursing—could be heard for miles.

It took him a moment, then, to realize that someone on the outside was speaking to him.

"All right, Gwaine, stop messing about!"

"Leon!" Gwaine leapt up, or, you know, would have, if he wasn't being squished. The air smelled funny in here. "Leon, the bloody stupid thing's trapped me in here!"

"Gwaine, this isn't funny—"

"You bet it's not! I can't get out!" He hoped Leon missed his voice breaking. It was noticeably stuffy here, now, and he wasn't sure breathing in did anything for him.

"Well, how did you get in?"

"The bloody thing _ate _me, Leon!" Gwaine bellowed, exasperated, banging against the door again. "It just—it moved, and it just snapped me up!"

There was no response from outside.

"I ain't jokin', mate!" Gwaine insisted, _desperate _not to sound desperate. Even if he was getting ready to start rocking back and forth until the cupboard tipped over.

"Leon, this isn't funny, you great oaf, I'm _serious_!"

…

Leon covered his mouth as a laugh escaped his lips. This sort of thing never happened—and to be happening to Gwaine of all people!—it was just too perfect!

"Of course, of course—Gwaine, not to worry, we'll, er, think of something." He silently gestured to one of the kitchen maids to get a crowbar.

"Isn't there a bloody key or something?" Gwaine said. He sounded almost manic! Leon could have some fun with this.

"Oh, there's no key to this door," Leon said, tapping on it. "I think it must be stuck or something." He glanced around the edge of the door, surprised to find that nothing was jammed in the door. That was certainly a little odd—he'd gotten into this cupboard dozens of times, and the doors couldn't stick unless something was jammed in it. Maybe it was jammed from the inside somehow…  
>Gwaine kicked at the door again. "Well, break the door down!"<p>

"Gwaine!" Leon said, in his reprimanding voice, "This is cupboard is made of hand-carved mahogany!"

"Leon—!"

"Oh, no, I'm afraid we may have to leave you in there for some time, until we fetch the carpenter to take all apart. Look on the bright side—you'll miss training!"

Leon was having so much fun with keeping Gwaine at the disadvantage like this, and he did not notice Gwaine's strikes against the inside of the cupboard had stopped. Now it was quiet. Oh, no—he hoped he hadn't made him mad…

He sighed. "I'm only joking, son—we're getting the crowbar now."

No answer.

He knocked on the cupboard, getting nervous, now. "Gwaine?"

Still no answer.

"Gwaine?" The kitchen maid rounded the corner with a crowbar, and Leon took it quickly and fumbled desperately to get it in the door. It was a tight seam, and the shaft snapped back in his hands without catching. He tried again, his hands shaking. Oh God, what if he'd been suffocating this whole time—while he was *playing around*….?

"Come on!" he snarled, and, fed up with trying to get in by hand, forced the end of the crowbar into the seam with a kick, and hauled backward. With a sharp crack the door popped out. Leon let out a relieved sigh. "Gwa—ah!"

As he knelt to haul Gwaine out, Gwaine jumped out himself, and gripped Leon like a vice. Leon stiffened, thinking for a second that Gwaine was going to tackle him for teasing him. But Gwaine just hung on, his arms tight around Leon's ribcage in...a..._hug?_... Leon could feel Gwaine's heart beating at an abnormally high rate.

"You alright?"

"Fine," Gwaine lied from somewhere around his armpit.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely."

Leon tried to shift, but Gwaine's grip didn't loosen. "You want to let go, now?"

"Nnnnope!"

"O...kay." After Gwaine's breathing had steadied out somewhat, Leon gently managed to guide Gwaine off of him.

"All right?"

With one last apprehensive glance at the wardrobe Gwaine cleared his throat and drew himself up, though he folded his arms across his chest and kept them there. "Right. Fine," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "just—"

"—Could happen to anyone. It's fine." Leon smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, we'd better get out to the field."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there," Gwaine said, grabbing onto Leon's cloak as he turned away. "Aren't you at all fussed about what just happened? I _mean_, there's something odd going on here! You saw it!"

"What do you mean?"

"That cupboard bloody attacked me!" Leon must have accidentally been giving him a look, because he added, "_Hey_—I was right about the goblins, remember?"

Leon sighed. "Fine. What's so odd?"

"The castle, mate-haven't you noticed it? Things coming to life, like that—" he glanced at the cupboard again and stepped further from it, "—that thing. Merlin's noticed it, too. Something odd with the castle."

"Merlin? Why didn't he say anything?"

"Well, who would believe it?"

Leon swallowed, and thought for a moment. "Why don't you go talk to Gaius—maybe he has some idea of what it is. I'll go let the knights know that they should get started with training."

…


	12. Chapter 12

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Gwaine steals Merlin's shirt, and the Knights chase a table down a hill.

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

Gaius flipped through a few old tomes while Gwaine paced anxiously around the physician's quarters. He felt much better after a change of clothes and a meal—Gaius was better than a mother hen at these things, and had filled him with tea and porridge, and had given him some of Merlin's things to change into, in addition to bandaging up his knuckles where he'd pounded them bloody trying to escape the cupboard—and though Gwaine was still agitated, he felt much better here.

"Hiya, Merlin!" he beamed as Merlin trudged in, looking a little disheveled from horse-mucking.

"So they got you out, then," Merlin chuckled, but just as Gwaine's smile transformed into a frown, he cried out, "Hey! That's my favorite shirt!"

"Ahh, here we are," Gaius said, pointing to a page in a book. "Apparently there are some kinds of magic so powerful they can effect an entire building or citadel."

Gwaine and Merlin gathered around. "Are we even sure it's just Camelot?" Gwaine asked. "I mean, if could be to our borders, or it could be the whole land?"

"Unlikely," Gaius said. "I have a feeling we'd have more problems than just..." a smile spread across Gaius' face, and Merlin followed suit.

"Look. I _told _you to bloody forget about it: it's not funny!"

Gaius wiped the grin off his face quicker than Merlin, so Gwaine gave him a shove, suddenly less concerned that he was apparently wearing Merlin's favorite shirt.

"Well, we can't exactly forget about it, Gwaine," Gaius said. "It's evidence as to what's gone wrong with the castle. I myself have had a deuce of a time finding anything in my apothecary, though I thought it just might be Merlin not cleaning up after himself."

"Hey!" Merlin protested, but Gaius continued over him.

"You say your bedroom wardrobe moved as well?"

Gwaine frowned. "Yeah."

"Perhaps it's limited to wardrobes?" Merlin wondered.

"Maybe I'm cursed!" Gwaine moaned, still feeling panicked from being locked in the cupboard. "Your magic didn't work around me!"

"No, the first time I couldn't get the candles to go out I was alone."

"Okay, well, look, here's an idea," Gwaine said irritably, "why don't we skip this bit and look ahead to what might be causing it and how to stop it?"

…

"Merlin! What are you—" Gaius exclaimed when Merlin so non-chalantly mentioned that his magic not working didn't seem tied to whether Gwaine was around or not. Both Merlin and Gwaine turned their heads to look at the Physician, momentarily confused. Then Merlin figured out why Gaius was spluttering and looking so concerned, and grinned. It wasn't often you could catch Gaius so completely off guard as to startle that bewildered expression out of him.

"Oh, right. Gwaine knows I can do magic, now. I didn't tell him, he figured it out," Merlin said. Gaius still looked a little flabbergasted, so Merlin added reassuringly, "Don't worry, he's not going to tell anyone."

"He said if I did he'd turn me into a frog," Gwaine added helpfully.

"I did not! I was only kidding," Merlin answered, sounding a little aggrieved. Gwaine, of course, knew this, but still… he had to get Merlin back for the cupboard remarks somehow. The knight opened his mouth to reply, but Gaius cleared his throat and he fell silent instead, looking over with a slight smile still on his face.

"No, I don't imagine he would. You wouldn't have told him otherwise," Gaius said finally to Merlin, still watching the both of them. Gwaine did his best to look honest— which, okay, wasn't all that terribly hard, he had a very good honest face that he could produce at a moments' notice. And Merlin looked uncertain, as if he were fully expecting a lecture for some reason or another.

"So! What causes a spell like this? And how do we stop it? I'd rather not be eaten by any more cupboards," Gwaine said after a moment.

"Eaten by a cupboard…" Merlin muttered under his breath, and then laughed, again. Gwaine was never, ever going to live this down. Ever. But Gwaine looked like he was about ready to throw a boot at him, so he stopped sniggering.

"A spell could cause this. Or an enchantment," Gaius said. But he couldn't be more specific, since they didn't know what exactly was going on.

"Could I have caused it?" Merlin asked hesitantly. The Physician looked up from contemplating one of the books they'd scattered around and raised both eyebrows at him.

"Have you been casting spells to awake castles?" Gaius asked mildly.

"Not exactly," Merlin answered, and Gaius thought about asking him what spells, exactly, he'd been casting in his free time. But he didn't, and instead shook his head.

"No. Generally, this sort of spell requires some intent by the caster. If you had cast it on accident, you would know. Have you ever accidentally cast anything?" he asked when Merlin didn't look entirely convinced. But finally, Merlin shook his head. No, he'd certainly never cast something by accident.

"Great! So it's not Merlin. How do we find out what it is?" Gwaine broke in.

"We need more information," he said, and Merlin slumped a little, making a face. Gwaine looked confused, until Gaius grabbed two huge books and handed one to Merlin, who took it and sat at the table they usually used for breakfast, shoving dishes he hadn't cleaned out of the way. The other he handed to Gwaine, who wrinkled his nose at the book before realizing that wouldn't make it burn to cinders, before going to sit across from Merlin with a very dramatic sigh.

…

Leon took the long hall to the courtyard, glancing through some of the very creative chirographs George shoved into his hands on his way out of the kitchens, while his mind clicked through a few possible explanations for the odd occurrences around the castle. More goblins, perhaps? Maybe someone from the town brought some piece of magic to Camelot without knowing what it was.

George's chirography was painstakingly done, like little parchment snowflakes you make when you're a kid. Except that these actually looked like snowflakes.

Leon was so used to Camelot's halls that he didn't look up as he put a hand out to open the door at the end of the hall, and stumbled forward awkwardly when his hand hit nothing. He looked up, and found that he was only half-way down the hall. He must have been more distracted than he thought.

As he started walking again, he started to feel a tight knot forming in his stomach. The door, for some reason, wasn't getting any closer. He glanced behind him, and the door he entered through seemed even farther away. There was no one else in the hallway with him.

"Oh no."

He walked a little faster, then a little faster still. The door remained quite far away. It was—stretching…. The effect it had on Leon's sense of perspective made him dizzy for a second, and he stopped until the vertigo subsided. He went to a nearby window and looked out, but it was extremely dirty and he could see nothing out of it.

_What the hell is going on?_ He thought, turning back to the hall, and his gaze fell on a door which he knew only led to a storage closet. He glanced down the hall again then cautiously approached the door. As he touched the handle he heard something move beyond the door, something like a scrape or a snarl. He drew his sword and, pausing for a moment with his back to the wall beside the door, threw the door open and leapt inside.

His vision was obscured by a bright light, and when his eyes adjusted he found himself not in a storage closet, but in an empty octagonal room. He sheathed his sword and looked around, but there was not much to see. It was bright—far too bright, lit from what appeared to be a skylight blaring sunlight down upon him. Besides that, music from some unknown source was reverberating around the room, making his head spin.

He turned and, finding that the door had closed behind him, opened it to get back into the hallway.

But it wasn't the hallway anymore—at least, not the same hallway. It was dark and narrow. He squeezed through it quickly.

There was another door at the end of the hall, and when he opened it he found himself back in the room with the bright light and loud music.

The knot in his stomach had become a festering tangle. He was starting to know what Gwaine felt like.

"Calm down," he said out loud, and leaned against the door frame. But it wasn't quite where he expected. He stumbled back to find—the same ruddy hallway he started in!

He glanced at the room of light, which was still behind him, then at the hallway. The music rose in pitch, building to climax.

He made a mad dash for the door, running headlong with all the speed he could muster. But every step seemed to only take the door farther away into the distance. He ran what felt like a hundred yards flat out, wall-hangings rustling as he rushed past but ever repeating.

He collapsed outside another identical door to the one he had entered before, heaving. The door seemed to be watching him silently. Leon glared at it, then, with less confidence, opened the door and peeked inside. Light and music came blaring out. He shut the door gently. He could have sworn the door was smiling at him.

He jumped up and smashed the window on the other side of the hall with the hilt of his sword. It fragmented, but didn't break—and Leon actually let out a yelp when the glass fragmented into a mirror. He covered his eyes, and muttered, "Ok, ok, ok….think."

This was some serious magic. Very serious. It was tying Camelot in knots behind his back! Or—just when he wasn't looking?—He quickly took his hands off his eyes and tried not to blink. But he couldn't look everywhere at once.

Or could he?

He grabbed a fragment of mirror-glass from the window, and, holding it in front of his face, angled it so that he could see over his shoulder at the hallway behind him. Careful not to take his eye off the mirror, He grinned at the door, then reached out and opened it.

"Leon? What are you doing?"

In the second that he glanced away from the mirror to see Gaius, Gwaine and Merlin standing in Gaius's apothecary, the mirror's image changed to reveal the ordinary hallway that led to Gaius's quarters. He put the piece of mirror in his pocket, and, without risking a glance back, shut the door, and leaned on it.

"You know, I think there's something odd going on with the castle."

…

Merlin, Gwaine, and Gaius stared at Leon as he stood leaning against the door like an exhausted scarecrow. He looked inordinately relieved to have found himself in the apothecary, which might have explained why he'd just said there was something wrong with the castle. Gwaine was the first to react, leaning against the table and then sitting nonchalantly on the book he'd been reading.

"I told you the cupboard ate me! And you didn't believe me," he said with mock injury. Next to him, Merlin glanced back at the books, realized why Gwaine was sitting on his, and leaned almost too casually so that most of his was blocked from Leon's view. Gaius went and started clattering around with a kettle and some mismatched cups, apparently making more tea. This seemed like a very emergency-tea sort of afternoon.

"Well… I'm still not sure about that," Leon said in response to Gwaine, and Gwaine realized he was actually trying to be funny. Leon was so often serious that the other knights sometimes didn't always recognize his sense of humor. Gwaine, though, just laughed a very short laugh.

"Right! So why did you walk in here backwards, holding a mirror?" he asked. Leon looked embarrassed.

"I… got lost in the hall. Upstairs," he asked. This made Gwaine laugh again, this time in disbelief. Leon had been wandering these halls for many years, and him getting lost was as ridiculous as Gwaine getting eaten by a cupboard in the kitchen.

"No, I did! It kept getting longer, and all the rooms were playing music. Are you sitting on one of Gaius' books?" Leon added in protest.

"What? No, of course not," Gwaine said.

"Gwaine, I can see the book right there. You are sitting on it," Leon stated, stepping closer as if he'd like to see why Gwaine was sitting on a book. Gwaine looked down to his side at said book, and shrugged one shoulder.

"Oh, well, yes. I am," he admitted, and didn't move.

"Well, what is it? Gaius isn't going to be very happy with you," Leon said, squinting as he tried to read what of the book he could see. Gwaine frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, and hopped off the table. Then he leaned back against it, one ankle crossed over the other. This blocked the book even more effectively.

"I don't know. It's a boring medical book," he said.

"Just because it doesn't have pictures doesn't mean it's boring, Gwaine," Leon jested, and Gwaine opened his mouth to respond, but before the two could lapse into an argument, Gaius came over with the hot kettle and four cups.

"Gwaine, are you sitting on a book?" he asked the knight innocently. Gwaine jumped away from the table, because when Gaius or Geoff asked you a deceptively simple question about what you were doing to a book, you bloody well stopped doing it, or anything like it. Under the guise of clearing the table off for tea, Gaius gathered the books into a pile along with several interesting papers and dumped them well out of the way in Merlin's room. There wasn't room, after all, on the shelves and tables in the room, and it made sense. Also, Leon was less likely to pursue the books if they were out of sight and out of mind.

While Gaius went about moving the books, the two knights and one manservant sat around the table with much clattering and nearly-breaking of mugs and kettle, but eventually managed to get tea poured.

"Have either of you noticed anything odd?" Leon asked Gaius and Merlin when the physician had returned and taken a seat just across from him.

"Several of my ingredients and medicines have gone missing, and Merlin insists it isn't his fault… and since they are really nowhere to be found, I believe he is right, this time," Gaius answered, while Merlin scowled. Why was it always his fault when things went missing?

"And the candle in my room wouldn't go out last night," Merlin added.

"I could be an object that brought it into the castle, or an accidental spell. I don't think it's the work of a real wizard, it's far too general," Gaius said. Merlin, Leon, and Gwaine looked at each other. Leon and Merlin looked at Gwaine in unison.

"What? I haven't done anything!" he said, leaning back from the table and gesturing so wildly that he almost threw tea all over Leon. Merlin gave Gwaine's borrowed clothing a pointed look. He liked that purple shirt. He especially liked it in a state free of tea stains.

"Alright, if Gwaine hasn't done anything…" Merlin said dryly, and grinned unrepentantly at his friend's glare.

"Has anything been brought into the castle recently?" Gaius asked. Well, of course things had been brought in. But would someone seriously have enchanted a garden vegetable? Merlin gave this a moment's thought. Yes, he could just imagine a potato coming to life and wreaking havoc. But no, he didn't think so.

"Well, there's the table," Leon said thoughtfully, and everyone looked at him.

"Oh, no," Merlin said, a look of dread growing on his face. Gwaine, however, thought this was fantastic.

"Great! So we get the table out of the castle, and everything is fixed. Right?" he said, and swallowed the rest of his very hot tea in one gulp. Merlin blinked, and looked at his own cup. If he'd done that, he'd have spit it out all over whoever was across from him, and his purple shirt that Gwaine was wearing would have been ruined.

"The round table? Yes, that would make sense. It is certainly large enough to support such a spell," Gaius said thoughtfully. Merlin sighed, and sipped his tea carefully until it was gone, by which time Leon and Gwaine had found a piece of paper to draw how best to get the wretched table out of the castle. As they left the apothecary to go take care of the table, he remembered something that would at least pass the time. Also, it might drive Gwaine crazy, and that couldn't be anything but amusing.

"I have another riddle, Sir Leon!" he said. Gwaine rolled his eyes and sighed. Leon looked over and down at the shorter young man.

"Let's hear it, then," he said eagerly.

"_When you see me, you instantly recognize me. I will turn everything around, but remain absolutely still. I tell you truth that can hurt, but if you try to kill me I just multiply._"

"Em..." Leon trailed off as he sized up the table. "I'll have to get back to you about that one when we're finished, I think."

Merlin looked the table up and down. "Is it just me, or does it look heavier than before?"

…

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, Gwaine."

"_I_ can."

"Shut up, Merlin."

"Yeah, shut up, Merlin, and push."

"Waitwaitwaitwait!" Leon gripped the table hard, which was on its side, being rolled carefully through the castle until it stood, now, in the doorway at the top of the back stairs. This way led down to the training ground, a nice flat area which Gwaine thought would be easiest to roll the table across, easy as rolling a coin across a table. But Leon looked at the stairs apprehensively. "Maybe we should just sort of _carry_it down, rather than-"

"Oh, you've got to be joking!" Gwaine whined. "Look, there aren't even enough stairs to pick up the speed to damage anything. The only thing that'll be hellish is getting it up again once it falls over. On three now."

Merlin wasn't looking like he was going to be able hold up his end for much longer anyway, so Leon's shoulders sagged and he nodded.

"Right. Three!" Gwaine said, and let go. The other two released their holds.

The table rolled, just as it ought, clanked down the stairs, but stayed upright. It didn't even chip the last stair, which Gwaine secretly had been a bit concerned about.

The table rolled, out to the grass, and it kept rolling. It crashed through a tent, and Leon's head whipped around to glare at Gwaine, as if this was his fault. "Oh, don't get your tunic in a twist, darling," he replied, "it'll stop in a minute, and that tent wasn't doing anything, I'll even put it back up, if you're going to fuss."

The table rolled as he talked. Curiously, it didn't teeter, or slow. In fact, it seemed to be...

"I, ahm, I think it's picking up speed," Merlin pointed out.

"No, no," Gwaine insisted. "Just give it a minute, it'll stop."

The table rolled on. It was almost to the edge of the training grounds now. Beyond that was the lower town.

"When?"

The table rolled.

"Any minute now."

The table rolled...

…

The table had not stopped rolling.

Leon, who was the fastest of the three of them, ran after it hollering for people to move out of the way, while Gwaine and Merlin ran after him. For the second time in as many days, an odd sort of train made its way through the lower town. Thankfully, this time it did not end in a pub, since the great stone table probably would have crashed right through the Rising Sun's front door. The owner was tolerant, but he would not have appreciated the new furniture.

"It should have stopped by now, shouldn't it?" Merlin asked, and nearly tripped over a rake that someone had dropped in their hurry to get out of the way of the rolling table. Gwaine, who at least had the good sense to look worried, no matter if he was cackling with childish glee on the inside, shrugged.

"Leon seems to think so," he replied, watching the tall knight thunder on behind the table. It rolled into a broad, open plaza and they saw a shower of vegetable matter and wood as it crashed through what had apparently been a vegetable stand. Gwaine jumped over the wreckage and Merlin paused to apologize, but the stand owner seemed only to want to wring the collective necks of the three following the table. He went after Gwaine in a hurry, the man's angry cursing following him.

"Goodness, Merlin, making friends?" Gwaine asked when he caught up, having stopped a good distance down the road to wait for him, and Merlin just shook his head. They were almost out of the lower town, and they saw Leon waiting for them up ahead. He glared at Gwaine as they caught up, and then pointed down the road.

"Does that table look like it has stopped rolling?" he asked angrily.

"No," Gwaine replied, looking after the table. There was no catching it now. It was almost to the gate, having taken out another cart on its way. The owner was starting up the street for them, shouting and waving her hands.

"Whoops. I think I'll go, uh… see to that table," Gwaine said, and tried to dodge around Leon, hoping to avoid the wrath of the large woman who could be heard a full half-block away.

"Oh no, this was your idea. You can apologize this time," Leon said, reaching out and neatly grabbing the back of Gwaine's shirt, spinning him back around right into the path of the oncoming one-woman war party. Merlin was about to sneak off back up the road to the castle, wanting no part of this fireworks show, but Leon saw him at it.

"Merlin," he called out just as Merlin thought he'd made good on his escape. He turned and tried to look like he hadn't been beating a hasty retreat.

"I was… er… it hit a vegetable stand up there. I thought I might… see if they needed help?" he said. Leon gave him one of those looks that implied he'd heard better excuses from George, who everyone knew wouldn't know a good excuse if it walked up and chewed his leg off, and Merlin returned.

"We should go check on the table," Leon said, and Gwaine looked at him hopefully.

"Not you, you're going to stay here and help-"

"YOUR TABLE JUST RAN OVER MY CART!" the angry woman shouted as she finally reached them, and Leon practically threw Gwaine at her. Gwaine stuttered and stumbled back a few feet.

"At least she doesn't have a rolling pin," Merlin couldn't resist commenting under his breath before he jogged off after Leon, who'd already started striding down the street toward the castle walls. Hopefully the table had found the grass more of a challenge than cobblestone roads, and would not be making mutton of the fat, slow sheep that grazed outside the castle walls.


	13. Chapter 13

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **The much-awaited fancy dinner with Leon's prospective girlfriend is almost here! Leon apparently knows nothing about being a civilian-I mean, did you see what he wore as "plain clothes" in Season 2? The what-to-wear scene is borrowed loosely from a UK "Being Human" season 1 episode.

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

As a consequence of the runaway table, Leon lost track of time, what with all the apologizing to irate merchants, getting the pigs back into their pens, and picking up the debris from more than one cart. When he managed to check the time it was almost sundown, and he all but ran through the marketplace to grab some new clothes he thought were suitable, wash up (no time to wash his hair, but it wasn't horribly manky yet) and get ready.

Well, he did have a few minutes to spare….

He found Gaius's apothecary easily enough this time, and thanked God that getting rid of the table had done the trick. It was now sitting placidly by the town gates. But when he stepped inside he did not find Gaius. Merlin was sitting at the table eating soup.

"Oh. Sorry. Do you know where Gaius is?"

"He's taking a bath." Merlin cocked his head. "What are you holding?"

"Er—" Leon coughed, wrapping the bundle of new clothes up in his arms. He wasn't really sure if this was the sort of thing you could ask…but Merlin was his friend, after all, and he trusted his judgment…. "Do you know, um, what—what kids are wearing these days?"

Merlin laughed at that, until he realized Leon was actually completely serious, at which point he tried to cover the laugh with a cough. Merlin probably knew what people wore—he was out and about enough to have noticed things here and there that seemed to be popular. And he'd certainly washed enough clothes to know what Some People thought were fashionable. Also, the slightly pleading look Leon was sure he was giving without meaning to probably made Merlin take pity on him.

"Um... I might? I can try to help." He pointed to a screen in the corner that Leon was eyeing. "Is this for that dinner Gwaine got you to agree to?" he asked.

"—Yeah," Leon said, relieved to find that Merlin didn't laugh too hard at him. He dove behind the screen and changed quickly. "I was going to ask Gaius—I don't wear plain clothes very often, so maybe you can just let me know what you think...ladies like to see that you try, don't they?" He came out wearing one of the first outfits he picked out—it stood out to him because it was a very bright yellow. It was a lot of yellow. But yellow was a good, color, wasn't it? "Now, tell me honestly—is this too flash?"

Merlin blinked, and then blinked again, because the effect of the yellow and maroon together was making his eyes do funny things. He tactfully did not ask Leon if he was planning on joining one of the traveling minstrel shows. "It's very yellow. Maybe something less bright?" he said instead.

Leon looked down, trying not to get blinded himself. "You're right. Something darker!" He tried this next, feeling quite suave and sexy in the next outfit. He pulled the hood up and struck a pose. "How about this? Sort of mysterious, eh?"

Merlin looked at Leon for a moment, wondering where he had acquired the clothing of a woodsman. Or perhaps an outlaw. Maybe both, now that he thought about it. And what was with the hood? "The color isn't bad, but I'm not sure about the hood..." he said.

"Really? I thought it was sort of..." Merlin glared at him. "Alright, fine." He tried this next, thinking the bright red tights really accented his legs.

Merlin actually jumped back. "Whoa!"

"What?"

Merlin recovered, unable to take his eyes off the scarlet fabric. "Did you find anything that doesn't have hose? I haven't seen anyone wearing those. Except maybe George, at feasts," he said, "Sorry."

Leon blinked. "What, no?"

"Definitely not. No hose."

Leon pursed his lips. "Well. At least I can return it." He then snorted like an indignant child and sulked off to change. It was the last outfit. "Now, I know you can't object to this. I've seen Gwaine wear this exact thing."

This time, Merlin snorted- - but not in indignance, in amusement. "But, Leon, Gwaine doesn't care what he wears. That just looks like you couldn't be bothered," he said. "Still, at least there's no hose. Maybe you could cobble something together out of it all?" He picked up the clothes Leon had discarded, which were heaped on the table. Leon looked over his shoulder as he considered them. It didn't look terribly promising.

"Maybe we should ask Galehaut…."

"—Yeah, maybe you're right…"

Galehaut turned out to be surprisingly helpful. He had an extensive wardrobe he was only too willing to share, and with a combination of his clothes and the ones that Leon had bought, they came up with the outfit that Leon now stood in front of the mirror wearing. It started with his dress boots, which were still a little scuffed from the Friday Knights but still cleaner than his work boots. He rubbed the toe of one feverishly on the back of his calf in a vain attempt to get it clean. He was wearing Galehaut's trousers, which were almost as tight as hose and were a bit short, but that didn't matter because they were tucked into the boots. Then it was the loose white shirt he had bought to go under the yellow jacket, but instead of the jacket he wore a dark green tunic, another addition from Galehaut. It hung to somewhere just below his…

"It's too short," he said, tugging the edge of the tunic down as he continued to try to clean his boots.

"Goodness me, you're shy!" Galehaut said with a laugh.

"I think it looks good," Merlin said, sounding somewhat surprised.

"I look like a pirate!"

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"It's not—ARGH MY BOOTS ARE DIRTY AND I CAN'T GET THEM QUITE ALL THE WAY CLEAN—"

"Leon, Leon, Leon!" Galehaut grabbed him by the shoulders as Merlin hurriedly bent down to clean the smudges off the boots. When Leon looked up Galehaut was grinning. "You're going to do fine."

"He's right," Merlin said. "Just take a deep breath and be yourself."

"I can barely breathe in this tunic," Leon said, shifting petulantly.

"Chin up, Leon," Galehaut said. "No, really—you have terrible posture. Up, up! You'll be able to breathe just fine if you stand up straight…."

…

Gwaine was a Ladies' Man. Everyone knew this. Heck, he was _the _Ladies' Man!

He was probably being too hard on Leon, if he stopped to think about it. You couldn't expect someone as emotionally stunted as old Leo to suddenly turn into a smooth-talking stud, so Gwaine assumed that there would be some rough patches in his quest to make Elaine and Leon an item. The fact of the matter was that one learned the most about these things from experience, and as a matter of fact he had been thrown into the deep end to be taught how to swim and had turned out all right. So Leon could buck up and do the same.

Or so Gwaine thought.

The sight of Leon gussied up like a peacock, flanked by Merlin and Galehaut would, at any other time, have been hilarious. But this evening it sparked off a memory and a realization that made his heart skip a beat-

_That was tonight!_

"See, what did I tell you?" Galehaut said, gesturing to Gwaine.

Gwaine panicked further, though was pretty sure he kept it more or less together. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, feigning nonchalance while his mind raced to think up a legitimate excuse as to why he was in the very clothes he had trained in today and was currently lady-less with a half an hour to go before the very important dinner. He would just have to say he lost track of time (which was true) and he couldn't care less that he was running late (which wasn't entirely true) and he could blame his wardrobe on his general roguish contempt for custom. Yes, that would work: that sounded just like something he'd do!

"It just looks like you can't be asked," Galehaut said, with obvious disdain. Gwaine quite liked Galehaut, in spite of his painfully aristocratic demeanor, and had pegged him as one of _those_types—not that there was anything wrong with that—the moment he clapped eyes on the ginger-headed nobleman. That wasn't a problem, but Gwaine certainly didn't appreciate Galehaut's self-assumed role as fashion watchman. He was probably the reason Leon looked like a turkey.

"Well, maybe I can't," Gwaine snapped, then, as Leon paled, decided to go easy on the lad and change tactics: "Only joking, mate, just on my way to change—what's everyone in a fuss for? Am I late?" he added, sounding carefree and slightly lost.

"Um. _Yeah_," Merlin piped up.

Gwaine glared at him. "Well if you don't mind, I was just about to collect my guest for the evening, so unless there was anything else? Good. Back in a jiff, Leon, I'm sure you can manage opening conversation without me—haha, again, joking—I'll be back in time!" he shouted down the hall, excusing himself as quickly as he could. It was a good thing he had a reputation for being rude, because he was pretty sure they all had something further to say to him, but as soon as he rounded the corner, Gwaine broke into a sprint.

He reached the stables in record time and pulled himself up onto Pussy's back without bothering to saddle him. Studly snorted at him to be so ignored, but Gwaine didn't have the time. Actually, really, everything was good. If he planned this just right, and—

"Cora, Cora!" Gwaine shouted, dropping down off the steed and holding tight to the skittish horse's mane. "Wait, wait, don't close up shop yet! Please tell me you're open!"

Cora looked at him, bemused. "And what can I do for you, Sir Gwaine?"

Gwaine didn't even fuss about being called "Sir" in this end of town. His eyes darted around the half-packed-up cart of shinies and pretties. He was going to look ridiculous, but—

"That black shirt, there in the back. How much?"

Cora eyed him warily. What is it with people wanting to tell him how to dress? Maybe he _wanted _to look cheap! "For you? Gwaine, that one's far too small, you'll—"

"I know, look like a harlot, I know."

"I was going to say 'pirate', but—"

"Just give it to me."

"Something the matter, Gwaine?" she chuckled, plucking the silk shirt from its hanger.

"Matter? What, me? Hardly! And that bundle of roses, I'll take those, too. How much?" Sir Gwaine stripped his shirt off right there, taking the new shirt-more of a costume than a practical shirt—and pulling it over his chest. It was just a little too tight, but he figured he could probably pull it off as though he meant to buy his shirt too small for the sake of fashion or irony or something.

Anyway, the girls packing up the shop couldn't stop staring. Gwaine decided to think that was a good thing, and he flashed them a wink that sent them all into giggles.

"Twelve pence," Cora growled, eyeing him eye the younger girls—and did her own gaze rake him up and down, as well? That was a good sign!

He raised his hands in mock-surrender and gave her thirteen pence before leaping back up onto his white steed and galloping towards the Rising Sun like a madman.

He had, thank you very much, not completely forgotten about the dinner, and yesterday evening had asked one of the twins, Mari—no, Cadi—no, definitely Mari—at any rate, the _blonde_one—to join him for dinner. She had readily agreed, and he had only to collect her.

There was one place where the twins could _always _be found: the Rising Sun. And sure enough—

"Cadi, my love!" Gwaine spied her immediately upon entering the throng, spun her around, and kissed her hand.

"I'm Mari," she giggled.

"Oh—"

"No, she's not!" the other one appeared-Mari, surely, now that he had them side by side—and tugged her sister's hair.

"Ah, but can you blame me? It's a wonder I don't go blind from your beauty every time I look at the pair of you!" Gwaine said in his defense, grinning widely and, plucking the bouquet of roses into two behind his back and handing each girl a bundle of flowers.

"Oh!" they squealed, in unison, snatching the roses up and smelling them.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Ready?" Cadi said.

"Ready?" Mari said.

"Em, yes. Dinner?" Gwaine tried, more tentatively. At least he wasn't the only one who had forgotten!

"Oh, yes, that's right!" Mari exclaimed, turning to her sister. "Sir Gwaine is taking us to dinner at the castle!"

"Ooh, but I've nothing to wear!" Cadi complained.

"Actually, I—" Gwaine tried, and the pair looked at him. For the second time tonight Gwaine's heart skipped a beat in horrified realization. He hadn't meant to take the _both _of them! Then again, he couldn't well tell Cadi "no" now, could he? No, he would have to make this look good. And how could you _not _make having Camelot's finest matching set on either arm look good, I mean, really? Leon might fuss a bit, but he'd soon get used to it, and the more the merrier, of course! "I…think you look ravishing, as always!"

"As do you," Mari growled, running her fingers along his chest and the silk shirt covering it.

He took her hand, laughing, and ushered them out. "Come now, we don't want to keep the others waiting."

"Ooh! He's come on the white pony!"

"Hello, Pussy Willow!"

Of course, the dumb brute was behaving for _them_.

"All right, up you go!" Gwaine said, lifting them onto the horse and pulling himself up between them. He might have been concerned with over-burdening the white palfrey if the two girls hadn't been half his size and a third his weight combined.

"Are we ready, ladies?"

"Yes, hurry!" Cadi giggled.

"What? Why?" Gwaine said, urging Pussy onward.

"We didn't pay our tab! Teehee!"


	14. Chapter 14

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **The long-awaited dinner does not go as planned. Nuff said.

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

It wasn't that Leon had *no* experience with courtly dinners, even dinners with ladies. For a time Uther had insisted on having such dinners on a regular basis, for Arthur's instruction. Leon had been to many of them, just as window dressing for Arthur, really. At least Leon had been permitted to wear whatever he liked, so he usually wore his livery and enjoyed sitting back and listening to the conversation. But the whole thing could become a bit…intimidating. The ladies unwaveringly dominated the conversation, and, well, girls like to talk about certain things. Their conversation could be very interesting, if somewhat more intense than he was used to. Arthur found it all very boring, but Leon would have gladly joined in if…well, he could usually think of a good reason to not join in.

But here he had no choice. He would have to provide at least a quarter of the conversation. Fine. He actually had a lot to talk about, should the conversation turn to court gossip—more still if they started in on the subject of music. He wasn't used to being the center of attention, though.

He was fiddling with the silverware when Merlin entered, holding the door open for Elaine. Leon jumped to his feet, a movement that either resembled a pirate leaping at the beat to quarters, or, more likely, a hare that had accidentally backed into a thorn bush.

"I'll see where Gwaine is," Merlin said, obviously trying not to laugh, but he scampered off before Leon could glare at him, leaving the two of them alone.

She looked absolutely perfect, as always. Her dress puffed and cinched in all the right places. He noticed it was one of those low-back dresses as she took off her shawl-somewhat reluctantly, he also noticed. Was she nervous, just like he was?

Why did he always feel like a frightened giraffe whenever she was looking at him?

While he was wondering this she greeted him, smiled at him, asked him how he was and sat down. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that she appeared right at home in this kind of situation. He just managed to push her chair in for her so that he didn't look like a complete ass, and sit down opposite her.

"Am I early?" she asked.

"No, no," Leon said. "Just in time, actually." _And by God, it turns me on._

"I thought that you would have to cancel dinner, what with getting the Round Table back into the castle."

"Oh—yes," Leon said.

"I saw you running after it this morning. I wonder how it got rolling like that!" she said, grinning.

Leon forced a laugh, but couldn't for the life of him think of a way to change the subject without looking obviously evasive. As the seconds ticked by he looked even more evasive. He was getting distracted by her smile.

"…Are you going to be able to get it back in time? For Arthur's return?" she asked. Her encouraging smile was becoming hesitant, and he felt he'd better say something.

"Mm, perhaps!" he said. He swallowed hard, and started picking at the base of his wine goblet with a fingernail. Oh, no. The silence. He had forgotten to say something that she could respond to.

Their eyes met for a moment. Elaine broke into a giggle, and Leon found himself laughing as well.

"We aren't going to get very far like this!" she said.

"I guess not," Leon said. He picked up the jug of wine and poured for her. Their eyes met again, but this time it was intentional, almost flirtatious. It made him feel young and capable, impressing her with his epic wine-pouring skills. Under her sweet gaze he felt himself beginning to relax, like he could actually talk to this woman for five minutes without help….

"The party don't start 'til I walk in!"

And with that attractive self-announced fanfare Gwaine entered, also looking like a pirate in clothes that were too tight for him. He was grinning—but Leon recognized *that* grin. Oh, no—what did he do *now*?…. He set down the jug, ready for anything.

Anything, except a shrill chorus of laughs exploding from the hallway. A second later two very indecently-dressed women that Leon unfortunately recognized from the Rising Sun entered. Gwaine joined in with the laughter and said, "You know Cadi and Mari, don't you? They'll be joining us for dinner! Isn't that lovely?"

Leon's mouth shut, and he stared at Gwaine for a moment. No. No, no, no. He couldn't have gone that far. He couldn't possibly have invited them *both*…Oh, but it would be just *like* him, wouldn't it?...

Gwaine's smile flickered at Leon's expression, but only slightly. "Merlin!" he shouted over the twins' giggles as Leon forced a bow, "You've forgot a place-setting! Come on! Don't keep Mari waiting!"

"That's Cadi!" Mari said, already sitting at the table beside Elaine.

Gwaine laughed as if it was all a big joke, and, when Merlin got an extra place-setting and shot Leon a pitying glance, Leon realized he was the only one still standing and sat down quickly.

"We were just talking about court fashion," Gwaine said.

"*Men's* court fashion!" Cadi and Mari said together, again bursting into peals of laughter. They talked about it all through the soup course, with Gwaine and Elaine bravely attempting to contribute despite the twins' apparent authority on the subject. Leon, who couldn't manage to even dress himself, sat quietly.

Until he felt something brush against his leg. Not just anything—a foot. A stocking-ed foot. A woman's foot. It tickled his calf very purposefully.

He squirmed back in his seat, his eyes darting to Elaine. Was this her way of trying to make him relax? But she only looked at him with confusion, no blush betraying her deed.

Another brush against his leg, this time higher up, in between his knees.

"...What's wrong, Leon? I should have thought all men preferred trousers to hose."

Cold horror passed through Leon as his gaze turned to Mari, who had spoken to him. She was leering at him, and he could have sworn he saw her wink. What—? *She* was—! But, she was Gwaine's date, not his—!

"They're—fine, ma'am," Leon said. He tried to surreptitiously brush the foot away under the table.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter what *we* think," Gwaine said, "It's the ladies that get to—Jesus, Leon!"

Leon barely managed to keep from spilling wine everywhere as the toes of the unseen foot gave his leg a hard pinch. Mari and Cadi giggled. Elaine and Gwaine looked concerned.

"Sorry," Leon mumbled, coloring deeply as Merlin appeared out of nowhere to clean up the spill. He managed a quick glance below the table but the mysterious foot had vanished. When he looked up Gwaine was rolling his eyes, and the conversation drifted to drinking, jewelry, and other things that Leon knew nothing about. All of his conversation topics would have been as appropriate for this audience as philosophy would be for horses.

And this was what people did for fun? Yeah, right.

…

To Merlin, it didn't look like the dinner was going well, especially for Leon. There was very little doubt in his mind that Leon and Gwaine would probably have a shouting match about Gwaine's two dinner guests later, although for what it was worth, he wasn't sure it had been entirely Gwaine's idea for both of them to come along. He'd only told Merlin that they'd need four place settings, afterall.

Anyway, watching things fall apart was not Merlin's idea of fun, so after he'd cleaned up the spilled wine, he handed serving duty over to one of the other servants that was hanging around by the door, and booked it not back to his room, but up to one of the castle walls. There wasn't anyone there this time of night, with guards in the towers looking over the same land as the walls, and with a better view.

For awhile, he stood there and stared out in the direction of the lake. It would have been nice to know that, when he was done waiting on one dinner, he could go home and eat and it wouldn't be alone, at the table in the workroom, eating very cold soup. Well, the cold soup wouldn't arguably have been changed by there being someone to eat with, but at least there would have been someone to commiserate with about it.

He sighed a half sigh, and threw a twig over the edge of the wall, leaning over to watch it fall past where he couldn't see it anymore. Then he shrugged off his fit of moping and sat with his back to the wall, idly wondering if, by climbing to the wall on the town side of the castle, he could look out far enough to see the rogue table, which still hadn't been brought in from the pastures. Probably the wall was in the way, but it might be interesting to try… Then again, he was comfortable right here, and didn't particularly feel like going all the way over to the other side of the castle on the inner wall. So he stayed where he was, and out of pure boredom and the need to do something, shredded a rogue tuft of grass that was growing between the rocks. Annoyed, even though he wasn't sure why, he tried to light the tuft on fire, before realizing that, of course, that wasn't going to work.

Then he stopped glaring at the unburned grass and blinked in surprise. Why wasn't his magic working now? It was supposed to be the table! They'd really rolled that behemoth through the town for _nothing_? If he'd been able to, he probably would have scorched the grass down to the very tips of its buried roots in sheer frustration. He tried to think of anything else that could possibly have been brought into the castle with a curse.

But it was a bit of a hopeless endeavor, given everything that came and went from the castle in any given day. A leaf, blown in by some little fluttering breeze, blew in front of his face, and he caught it. He blinked at it, and then yelped as, precisely like he'd told it to do, it went up in fire and burned his hand. And why had _that_ worked? What was going on here, that his magic didn't work on anything related to the castle, but did work on something that just so happened to breeze by? Well, at least it proved what he thought—it was the castle that was cursed, not anything else. Also, he needed to speak with Gwaine, and soon. It clearly wasn't the table causing this mess…

…

"Good night, ladies!" Gwaine waved again as Mari and Cadi went joyriding off together on the back of Pussy Willow, with Gwaine watching them, hoping against hope not to find him wrecked in a ditch somewhere the next morning. But he was too preoccupied with other thoughts to even care—

"You moonlight as a fishmonger, don't you?" Gwaine asked, a smile still plastered to his face, still waving. They were alone: Elaine had excused herself rather early.

"What?" Leon phased through insulted straight to confused.

"You know: you, the opposite sex, nightly hookups in the lower towns—"

"What does that even mean?"

"You _must _do, because the way you held it together in there, wow! All cool and suave and charming. It was chilling. _I_was even turned on," Gwaine said. His voice started off dripping sarcasm and ended up dripping venom.

"Oh." Leon said, bowing his head to try to hide the blush that nearly matched his hair.

Now Gwaine snapped. "You know you really are a coward, aren't you? Jesus, Leon, we set up a nice date like that and you—you waste it! I admit the twins are a bit much to handle, but I was looking after them—why couldn't you make a move? Or, you know, say more than two words, maybe?"

Gwaine paused for breath, but Leon didn't say anything: didn't raise hand or word to his defense. And even though Gwaine began to feel like he was hitting a woman, he kept going—probably _because _Leon was acting like a woman, which made him even more angry.

"And if it bothered you that much you could've taken her for a walk! A ride, even! My God, Leon, some initiative! There's one thing girls don't like, and that's a man who leaves his spine on the battlefield! Sure you can play knight with a horse and a stick, but you can't even say two words to a lady on your first date _and it has got to stop!_"

Gwaine huffed for a bit longer, looked around for something to kick that wouldn't break his foot, found nothing, and settled for cracking his knuckles. The night had been a disaster, and it was all Leon's fault! He was braver than that, smarter than that, he knew better! Sure he was a bit of a social cripple, but it didn't mean he had to leave everyone _hanging _like that! Gwaine was disappointed.

And also sad. Leon really needed his help! And it wouldn't do any good to just yell at him.

Gwaine sighed. "Look, okay, I'm sorry. We'll try again. No problem. A single date, maybe, a picnic in the woods, just you two, so you don't have a choice _but _to talk. Next time, we'll—"

"There won't be a next time," Leon growled, and without another word, stalked off, leaving a stunned Gwaine at the castle doors.


	15. Chapter 15

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Issues with the castle not quite as averted as everyone hoped, Leon, Merlin and Gwaine have to figure out what's really making the castle try to kill them...

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

Leon walked back to his room, feeling like he'd been kicked in the stomach. That dinner *was* a kick in the stomach. All he could think about was Mari's foot rubbing up against his leg, Cadi making Gwaine snort wine out of his nose, and Lady Elaine's very pretty, beautiful lips—lips that could make him think very ungentlemanly thoughts if he wasn't careful—frowning at him from across the table. Oh, yes, a man who can't string three words together, that must have looked so attractive. She left first, for goodness sake!

The sensible part of him told him that Gwaine's lecture was some kind of ridiculous attempt to free himself of guilt, that it was Gwaine who invited those two nutters and upset what was supposed to be an enjoyable evening. It was Gwaine's fault for trying to run his love life. It was Gwaine's fault for acting like nothing was wrong so that Leon looked even more like a fool. He should have stood up for himself and told Gwaine off like he wanted to all evening. Just because he didn't act like a stag during rutting season, it didn't mean he deserved to be made fun of.

But another part of him told him that Gwaine was perfectly right. Leon had been nothing short of a wet hen and entirely ruined the evening. Maybe he did need help, or maybe he was beyond help.

Leon descended the stairs feeling very confused and sorry for himself.

He became even more confused when he found another set of stairs at the bottom of these ones, ones that had never been there before.

The kicked-in-the-stomach feeling was quickly being replaced by a heart-jumping-into-the-throat feeling.

"No!" Leon shouted, "We fixed this…!"

He turned to run back up the stairs, but as he jumped onto the first step it shot upwards under him. It was all he could do to hold on, as it carried him upward back the way he came.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

The stairs deposited him unceremoniously onto flat ground, and Leon jumped to his feet. He could hear that damn music again, getting louder by the second. He was on what looked like the third floor of the south hall, except…

"The walls are closing in," he said, throwing his hands in the air. "The bloody—!"

He turned to go back down the stairs, and smacked into a stone wall.

Ok. He was *not* in the mood for this.

"You…" Leon seethed. The walls were getting closer by the second. The only course of action was to try to get to that door at the end of the hall. Without another glance back he made a break for it. He was surprised at how fast he could run in civilian clothes, but the hallway was longer than it looked.

Just as his shoulders were beginning to bump against the sides, he flung himself through the door, slamming the door shut behind him and landing in the hall that led toward Gaius's chambers.

"GAIUS!"

…

From up on the wall, Merlin had a pretty clear view of the main castle doors. He also had a clear view of some sort of altercation between Gwaine and Leon, which ended with Leon stomping off and Gwaine standing there looking confused. So the dinner hadn't ended well, he thought. He was a little surprised Leon hadn't shouted at Gwaine, though, for bringing the twins…

Anyway, he had better things to do than contemplate Leon and Gwaine's disastrous dinner. He really needed to catch Gwaine before the knight disappeared to somewhere else for the night. Dashing down the steps two at a time, in a neck-or-nothing fashion that Arthur, Gaius, and his mother all three would have yelled at him for, he caught Gwaine just as he was turning to leave, still looking vaguely confused.

"Gwaine!" he called across the courtyard, and Gwaine whirled around, managing to toss his hair as he did so. Not for the first time, Merlin wondered how he avoided giving himself whiplash, but he didn't say anything. If being awkward was his thing, and trying not to be tall was Leon's thing, he supposed Gwaine probably had to have a hair-tossing thing. It only made sense.  
>"What, Merlin," Gwaine asked, sounding a little bit less than his usual self. Merlin hesitated, not sure this was really the best time to break the news about the table. But they couldn't have the castle running amok longer than was necessary…<p>

"I was up on the wall, and I tried to light some grass on fire," no, he wasn't going to tell Gwaine why he'd been burning grass, "And… well, it didn't work. It wouldn't light," he said. The frown on Gwaine's face was answer enough.

"So the table…?" he asked hesitantly.

"It's not the table. Can you think of anything else?" Merlin asked, and Gwaine ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He couldn't think of anything at all, especially not after that dinner, which had already frazzled him more than he'd ever have admitted. With a wistful look over toward the now-quiet kitchens, he gave up any hope of going either to the tavern or to his bed.

"Did you eat, Merlin?" he asked, and Merlin blinked, momentarily confused as to what possible relevance this could have to the situation.

"Um… no?" he asked, more than answered.

"Good. Let's go to the kitchens. You can eat, and we can both try to think," he said. He did some good thinking in the kitchens, maybe because of the smell of food and general atmosphere of barely-contained chaos, though why that should be the case was beyond Gwaine. But if they were going to be dealing with a rogue castle all night, he wanted an apple, despite the huge dinner he'd just eaten. Truly, he'd been dealing with carrying the conversation and trying to rescue Leon from his own ineptitude for so much of it that he hadn't actually eaten much of the food. Anyway, there was always room for an apple, and it might help him think.

"And you're sure it's not just you?" Gwaine asked as they walked toward the side-door to the kitchen, and Merlin shook his head adamantly.

"I lit a leaf on fire," he answered, and his friend looked at him askance.

"Why are you lighting things on fire?" he asked, shouldering open the door.

"Oh, um, no reason," Merlin answered hurriedly, and gestured vaguely at one of the breadknives in a block on one of the tables. "Hand me that so I can cut some bread, please," he said by way of distraction.

Gwaine, who was definitely not at all preoccupied with thinking about the catastrophe that was this evening's dinner and was instead wholly focused on the matter at hand, nodded absently and reached for the knife.

And missed.

He looked up, sharply, and went for the knife again, actually looking at it this time (which was generally a good idea with knives).

It _moved_.

It sort of just skidded away from him as if on the end of a string. Gwaine looked to Merlin, to see if he saw this, but Merlin was preoccupied locating as sausage to go with his bread, so Gwaine quickly clapped his eye back on the wayward knife.

Only just in time, as the thing reared its head, dancing up on its point, twirled briefly, and then, quick as a flash, launched itself at Gwaine's head. He ducked, a close shave as the kitchen utensil embedded itself in the cupboard next to Gwaine's head.

"Um. Merlin?"

"No, Gwaine, give _me_the knife, don't stick it in the wood there—" Merlin began, only glancing at him.

"Um." Gwaine wasn't sure how to say this. 'The knife tried to attack me'? 'I'm probably imagining things but we know from experience these past few days that I'm unfortunately probably _not _imagining things, though I wish I was'?

And his tongue got tangled up with his heart in his throat when he looked across the room at the block where all the knives were kept. There were at least thirty or forty knives, there, of all different shapes and sizes, no longer in the block where they belonged but vibrating, alive, thrilling with the need to kill, standing up on their points, ready to launch—

"Get down!" was all Gwaine managed. He grabbed the long table in the middle of the kitchen and, with a strength driven by terror that surprised even him, upended the furniture on its side so that, when he'd grabbed Merlin and drug him to the ground, the fifty knives flying at them had instead pierced through the table instead of their flesh.

"Oh!" Merlin said.

Gwaine gave him a Look.

"Can't you magic it away or something?"

"Haven't you been listening? My magic doesn't work on the castle when-what?"

For now Gwaine had grabbed Merlin's shirt, just as fear grabbed him by the family jewels. Merlin followed his gaze up to the cheese cabinet, which was walking, doors wide, toward them, menacing and hungry.

"When I say run..." Gwaine said, but Merlin had already launching himself to his feet and was tearing out of the kitchen, yanking Gwaine behind him. As one man they screamed as they ran:

"GAAAAAAAIUS!"

"LEEEEEEEON!"


	16. Chapter 16

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **Sorry for the bit of hiatus...getting towards the end of the semester and we're catching up!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

"GAIUS!"

But Gaius didn't answer. Leon caught his breath, his back flat against the door behind him, too wary to move. Well, if Gaius wasn't in his room, he had to find him elsewhere. They ought to have asked him first, before they did anything with the table. Gwaine, hopefully, would realize the same thing.

Still, the door behind him felt solid enough. He carefully turned around and put his ear to the door. He could still hear that music. "One…love? What?"

"Leon!"

Leon turned to see Lancelot down at the far end of the hall, running towards him. "There's something wrong with the castle!" he shouted, turning back to the door as Lancelot approached. "I think it might have something to do with whatever is beyond this door!" He put his ear to the door again. "Maybe there's some kind of spell on the castle. See if you can—"

He glanced back at Lancelot, but he was still far on the other side of the hall. For a moment Leon thought he must have stopped and started again, until he looked closer and saw that Lancelot remained static with every step. Now he was stuck in the never-ending hall.

"It's no good!" Leon shouted. "It's magic!"

Lancelot just kept on running. Leon sighed, and considered the door again. It was more imposing than he thought before, like the door to the great hall. He ought to open it—but that was what the castle wanted, wasn't it? It was leading him on like a donkey with a carrot.

Lancelot was still running down the hall, when Leon's attention was distracted by a click on the other  
>side of the door.<p>

BAM! Leon slammed into the door as Lancelot slammed into him, knocking them both to the ground.

"What the-?"

"Sorry!" Lancelot said, just as bewildered. "I thought I was stuck—at the other end of the hall! And then—there you were!"

"It's the castle," Leon said, brushing himself off. "It's got a spell on it, or something."

"A spell? No!" Lancelot drew his sword. "What sort of spell could do this?"

"I don't know. But I don't think its very, er—nice."

The door suddenly burst open, revealing a spiral staircase downward. There was a second of silence, then a shrill scream issued from depths.

"Guinevere!" Leon and Lancelot said at the same time.

"But that's impossible…" Leon said.

"I know! I've heard it before!"

"But what is it, if not her?"

Another scream.

"Come on!" Leon jumped up, pulled Lancelot to his feet, and leapt down the stairs two at a time, which is particularly dangerous in a spiral staircase—especially when the staircase suddenly ends in nothingness. His foot landed on empty space.

"Whoa!"

Lancelot grabbed him just in him before he was about to fall, his legs dangling out in darkness. As he hung there, Lancelot just barely holding onto him, the stairs began to narrow, and morph into a ramp.

"LANCELOT…!"

"Hold on," Lancelot said, trying to sound reassuring though his voice was tinged with worry, "I've got you, no…problem…."

Lancelot stopped. Leon scrabbled at the now smooth stone surface. "Lancelot? What's happening?"

"Erm." The grip on his arm tightened as Lancelot looked over his shoulder. "Don't let go!"

"What? Lancelot, I'm hanging over endless darkness, I'm not going to HOLY SHIT!"

Leon happened to look over his shoulder and see that, below him in the darkness, a distorted image of Guinevere was standing there, breathing fire.

"PULL ME UP PULL ME UP PULL ME UP!"

"Hold still—" Lancelot grabbed hold of his hair.

"Ow, OW! NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Sorry!" Lancelot let go, and Leon slipped down a few more inches. There was a wooshing sound and the chamber lit up like a Christmas tree as Guinevere let off a fireball at them. Leon just managed to pull his feet out of the way. "That's not Guinevere!" Lancelot said.

"No, you think?"

"Well, what will we do?"

"Hold onto me! BY THE SHIRT, THE SHIRT!"

Lancelot grunted with effort as he took hold of Leon's shirt by the shoulders, leaving Leon's arms free to draw his sword.

An ominous ripping sound issued from his armpits.

"Hurry up, Leon!" Lancelot said, and Leon flung the sword hilt-over-point toward the monster. The vision of Guinevere crystallized as the sword point hit it, then shattered into a million pieces.

At which point Lancelot's foothold slipped, and they both fell screaming into-

—the skylight in Gaius's apothecary, which shattered under them and deposited them unceremoniously onto Gaius's bookshelf.

"Lancelot…you can let go now…"

Leon groaned as he disentangled himself from Lancelot's grip, and looked up to see Gwaine, Gaius and Merlin huddled against a wall of the apothecary, hiding behind Gaius's overturned bed and table.

"Care to join us?" Gwaine said, and pointed behind Leon and Lancelot to a set of encyclopedias floating in the air behind them, snapping and snarling like wolves.

As Leon quickly jumped over the barricade and Lancelot followed suit, Gaius said almost to himself, "And you know, for all their forward behavior, I still can't find volume twelve…!"

…

Gwaine and Merlin had arrived at Gaius' apothecary without mishap-though that probably had more to do with how fast they were running and less to do with how earnestly the castle was attempting to kill them.

"Merlin!" the old man had exclaimed as they barged in, Gwaine slamming the door shut and leaning against it. "Have you seen my?—"

"No time, Gaius, the castle's gone absolutely mental!" Merlin cried, grabbing him by an elbow and moving him away from the door. "Getting the table out didn't work, it-"

Gwaine yelped as a large chest full of books snapped at him like a rabid dog. "Gaius, how do we stop it?" His hand went, instinctively, to his side as if he would find a sword there—as he had already done twice this evening, and probably would do again—cursing himself for having gone soft and not wearing a sword at all times!-but instead settled for dancing around the room until he located a table to stand on.

The chest stopped snapping, just _waiting_for him below.

"Hey, how come it's not attacking you?" Gwaine asked.

"I don't know, how come my magic's not working?" Merlin snapped: which could only mean he was as scared and pissed off about this whole thing as Gwaine was.

There was a thought, though—the curse went after different people in different ways? That was stupid, though.

Growing bold, Gwaine reached out a foot and gave the chest a mighty kick, knocking it on its side. "Quick, over here!" Gwaine cried, beckoning Gaius and Merlin over to stand behind him, overturning the table as a barrier.

Just then, Leon had burst in, followed by Lancelot. Well, he said "burst in," but "fell through the ceiling" was probably more accurate.

"The castle's all wrong!" Leon cried, clenching his fists in frustration. "It's all...mixed up!"

"And I kept hearing things!" Lancelot added, looking like he was about to go on before blushing brightly, and three guesses and the first two don't count as to who _his _naughty little hallucinations were about! "Gaius, what's going on?"

"I can't find my book of curses..." Gaius said despondently. But Gaius could never find anything! He was always losing stuff!

"That's it!" Gwaine said. The curse worked on Gaius by making him lose stuff-more. The curse nullified Merlin's magic. It made Lancelot think he heard Gwen. It kept getting Leon, Mr. On Time, Mr. In Control, lost in his own castle! And it liked trying to lock Gwaine in small dark places where-

"_What's_it?" Leon asked. Gwaine was yanked out of his deep thought to realize that they were all looking at him expectantly.

_Ah._ This was one of those times where he _thought _he had put that all together fairly fast and cleverly, when in fact he'd been sitting there mouth-breathing for a few minutes. _This_ was why Sir Gwaine usually didn't bother thinking, damn it! And it wasn't like it would help them get out of this mess, anyway. _Leap before you look, next time, Gwaine, leap before you look!_

"I thought I had an idea," he said. "But never mind."

…

Of all the times for Gaius to lose something… Merlin shook his head and looked over the table to see if perhaps he could find where the thing had been misplaced. A particularly large encyclopedia dipped out of the flock and slammed into the table, and he yanked his head back a safe distance from the overturned table's top edge.

"If it's not the table, then why is the castle doing this?" Leon asked, sounding harassed. Merlin looked past Gwaine and Lancelot at him and shrugged. On his other side, Gaius cleared his throat and they all turned to look at him, hoping for something helpful. He was supposed to be the wisest of them, right?

"Sorry. Something else is clearly causing the curse. Perhaps it wasn't something that was brought into the castle," he said, which was really a great deal less helpful than the three knights and Merlin had been hoping for. There had to be something. They all tried to pummel their brains into coming up with something plausible, or at least sat there and pretended to do so, or in Gaius' case snuck searching looks around the edge of the table, still looking for the curse book.

"Lancelot, I can't concentrate with you humming," Gwaine said irritably, and Merlin glanced up from staring at the floor in thought. Lancelot didn't seem to really hear Gwaine at first, and so, because he'd apparently had all the frustration he could deal with, Gwaine reached over and punched him in the shoulder, shoving him into Leon, who yelped indignantly and glared over at Gwaine. The humming stopped, and Lancelot threw Gwaine a kicked puppy look that strongly implied he'd been taking lessons from Merlin.

Not thirty seconds later, when they'd gone back to thinking or, in Lancelot's case, sulking, Gwaine sighed sharply.

"Shut _up_, Merlin!" he growled, and Merlin realized _he'd_been humming the same exact annoying tune Lancelot had been humming. Leon started to scold Gwaine for being cranky, but then stopped.

"I know that song," he said with surprise. They all looked at him, and it slowly dawned on Gwaine that… he actually recognized that obnoxious tune as well. Merlin had been humming it earlier!

"Why couldn't the two of you get a good song stuck in your heads?" he bemoaned, because now on top of the castle trying to kill them, he was probably going to be driven insane by that incessant little ditty.

"You all know the same song? Were you singing it at the tavern?" Gaius asked, and they all shook their heads.

"I heard it from Lancelot," Merlin said, "And Gwaine probably heard it from me."

"And I heard it when I got lost in the castle. It does get stuck in your head, doesn't it? Could it be that some songs are magical?" Leon added. Gaius drummed his fingers on the floor for a second.

"Some songs are, in fact, spells. Well-written ones can be cast whether one practices magic or not. When did you learn that song, Lancelot?" he asked, and Lancelot blushed as everyone looked at him.

"Oh, er… the other night. And then I started… well, hearing things…" he admitted. Forgetting that Leon, who had gone back to being quiet as usual, was sitting on his other side, he looked at Merlin, and added, "Can't you fix it?"

Merlin stared, and so did Gaius, and Gwaine turned and gave Lancelot a look of astonishment mixed with confusion. Oh, that was right. Merlin had neglected mentioning that Lancelot also knew about his magical abilities. Lancelot, for his part, looked in confusing from Merlin to Gwaine, but didn't say anything. It was Gaius, saving the situation, who glanced quickly over Lancelot's shoulder at Leon before answering as if it'd been him to whom the question was directed. It was fairly common knowledge, at least, that he'd once been a fairly competent wizard in his own right.

"I cannot. I could not have done anything years ago. This spell is far bigger than anything I ever dealt with. We'll have to find the counter-curse, or a way to uncast this one," he said, to a chorus of groans and the ominous sounds of the kicked-over chest trying to right itself, growling and snarling the whole while.

"Do you have the book?" Merlin asked Lancelot.

Lancelot rolled his eyes. "Oh. Yes, Merlin. Because I just loooove carrying books around in my trouser pocket!" he said, exasperated.

"You mean this book?" Gwaine asked, lifting a small tome easily from Lance's back pocket.

Lancelot tried to snatch it back, going bright red. "Hey!" he said. Gwaine easily handed it back to Gaius with a broad grin.

"'A Gode Boke of...' something," Gaius read out loud while Merlin glared at Lancelot, Lancelot glared at Gwaine, and Gwaine laughed at the pair of them. "now, I can't make out the last word," he hummed and hawed and adjusted his glasses. There was some luck: at least he hadn't lost _those_.

Leon leaned over his shoulder. "Poems?"

"That's what I guessed," Lancelot said, flinching back as a book slammed into the table.

Gaius flicked through a few more pages as Gwaine dared to poke his head over the top of the barricade. "Dammit!" he said. "The chest is back. It wants to eat me alive."

No one seemed to care.

"I think the 'P' is for 'spells'," Gaius said, finally. "It must be very old magic to be driven by music..."

Lancelot paled. "If I had known, I—"

Leon held up his hand. "No one's blaming you, Lance. Just tell us what happened."

"Um, guys?" Gwaine said again, as now a bookshelf had come free of the wall and was also advancing on them. The table was looking a lot less sturdy and safe. "Seriously, I don't think we have space for a chat right here. Does anyone have a sword? Or, you know, an axe?"

"I was just...singing, you know..." Lancelot went on. "I tried out one of the songs..."

God, was he invisible? This had to be a nightmare. The threat of being trapped in small spaces and people ignoring him. Surely this was hell.

"And, what?" Merlin prompted, growing impatient with Lancelot's delicacy. "Flashing lights? A change in temperature?"

"I—I don't know! I didn't even finish the blasted song!"

"Okay, look," Gwaine said. He was sick of all this hiding and sneaking around, and he'd much rather be on the defensive. "I'll lead them away, and you—"

A vicelike grip was on Gwaine's arm. He followed it up to Leon's ginger beard. "Don't _even _think about it," he said.

"You got a better idea?"

"I think I do... I remember Gaius saying something about very old magic being all about balance, right?" People often forgot that Leon was in the background during almost all of the conversations that Uther and Gaius had about magic. When Gaius nodded he continued, "Well, maybe it needs something to put the castle back into balance. Like, music or something?" Honestly it had sounded more reasonable in his head.

"Oh!" Merlin said, then clapped his hand over his mouth.

Leon raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"I've just remembered—well, more of an idea, really—what if we recreate the scene? If its all about balance as you say, maybe the song just needs to be completed."

"What—you mean Lancelot should sing the song that got us into this mess _again_?"

"Yeah, and finish it." Merlin stuck his head out in exasperation. "Have you got any better ideas?"

Leon turned to Lancelot. "Right. Exactly how did you do the spell? Any detail could be important."

Lancelot thought for a moment. "Well—I was sitting at the virginal, and I played the chords that go with it." He pointed at the book. "They're in the margins, see?"

"Not much luck of getting to your virginal now," Gaius said, as a book snapped at them. "Though I do have a dulcimer in the corner over there."

"I'll get it," Gwaine volunteered, and Leon wasn't able to hold him back a second time. Screaming like a banshee, he ran out into the fray of vicious furniture and bent to grab the dulcimer from the opposite corner of the room from among a pack of rabid books. Suddenly he shouted.

"What's happened?" Leon shouted, ready to come to his rescue.

"They're biting me! ARGH IT TICKLES!" He just managed to grab the dulcimer and run back, with the books hard on his heels. With a running leap he dove behind the table, this time giving a recognizable shout of pain.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked.

Gwaine nodded, and sat up. "Paper cut."

Leon rolled his eyes and grabbed the dulcimer. "Alright, what's this thing tuned to?" he gave the strings a few experimental plucks.

"It's got hammers—you're supposed to hit them," Gaius said. "They must still be in the corner…"

"It's no problem," Leon said quickly as Gwaine groaned. "I can play it like this. Get singing, Lancelot."

"I can't sing by myself! Gwaine, help me out. _It's been a mystery, still I try to see_…."

"I can't go that high, are you mad?" Gwaine protested.

"Fine, I'll give it a go," Leon said, and, looking over Lancelot's shoulder, tried to coordinate playing an instrument he'd never played before and sing a song that was about half an octave too high for him. Lancelot's vocal range was unmatched.

"Did you see that?" Merlin said, pointing to a flicker of blue light streaming in through Gaius's broken skylight. "It's working!"

"Or getting worse," Gwaine said. Leon tried to ignore them as he also tried not to sound too much like a dying cat. Thankfully, this next bit was instrumental.

"It's not like it was before," Lancelot said. "There should be…more."

"More what?" Leon said, as he picked out one of the more complicated ornamentations. It was a pretty good song, when you got into it….

"More lights, more everything! It's not as dramatic."

"Can you think of anything we're missing, Lancelot?" Gaius said.

"Maybe we do need the virginal to play it right…"

Leon wracked his brain for something, anything that might be helpful. What had helped him navigate the castle when it was going wrong for him? It seemed like anything he did to outsmart the castle didn't work at all—

Except—

"Merlin, I think I have the answer to your riddle."

Merlin's eyes went wide. "Is this really the time for riddles?"

"_When you see me, you instantly recognize me. I will turn everything around, but remain absolutely still. I tell you truth that can hurt, but if you try to kill me I just multiply._It's a mirror! Lancelot—did you have a mirror the first time you played this song?"

They turned to look at him. "What?"

"Quick, the solo's ending—someone grab a mirror!"

"He's right!" Lancelot said, "I did have a mirror!"

"Mirrors *can* amplify certain spells," Gaius mused. He reached over and grabbed a hand-mirror off a nearby shelf and held it up. Lancelot and Leon began singing again, and in an instant the room was bathed in multicolored light and noise.

"Whoa…." Gwaine said. But Leon's voice was literally cracking under the strain, and as he struggled to hit the notes Lancelot's singing went quieter and quieter in self-consciousness.

"Merlin!" Gwaine shouted, "Help Lancelot!"

Merlin's ears turned bright red. "Me? I can't sing!"

"Merlin, we've been in too many fights and battles together—I know you can hit that pitch!"

Merlin glowered at them, both, but as Leon's voice failed with a spluttering cough, Merlin joined in. To Leon's surprise he was quite a good singer, and could indeed hit even the highest notes. The colors dancing around the apothecary's walls intensified, warping the very stone and wood and glass they fell on….

Leon hit the last note, and its ringing echoes carried away the last of the multicolored lights. Everything was silent.

"Did it work?" Lancelot asked cautiously.

Gaius peeked over the edge of the table barricade, and his face lit up with joy. "Volume twelve!" he said, and hugged the beloved lost volume to his chest.

"I'll take that as a yes," Gwaine said. He turned and clapped Merlin and Lancelot on the shoulders. "You saved the day! Oh—and Leon, too."

Leon opened his mouth to speak, but only a raspy squeak came out.

"Oh, look what you've done, Lancelot! You've broken Leon!"

"Sorry!" Lancelot said. "It—is a bit of a high-pitched song, isn't it?"

"No, no, don't apologize!" Gwaine said. "I won't have to listen to Leon shouting at me for a few days at least!"

Leon would have shouted at Gwaine to stop making fun of him and to start putting the castle back in order if he could, but he could only sit there fuming. He glared at them all, but as Gwaine turned away he moved the nearby trunk a few inches with his foot. Gwaine jumped about a foot in the air.

"Hey, Hey! Not funny!"

Leon just laughed silently.


	17. Chapter 17

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **No one said getting the Round Table back in the castle (again) would be easy. An epilogue to follow. Thanks for reading!

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

Since the curse had been broken and they'd decided it hadn't been the table at all that had been responsible, the table had to be hauled all the way back up through the town and through the castle doors. As a result, Leon, Gwaine, Lancelot, and Merlin had to go fetch the table from the field where it'd come to rest. The morning after they'd all confronted the rogue castle, the four of them could be found first hauling the thing onto its side, then rolling it to the castle gates.

"I don't think that's a good idea…" Merlin said as they started up the hill. The table looked like it might roll back downhill at the slightest provocation, steamrolling all of them, though Merlin had given up helping to roll the thing and was helpfully giving directions.

"Well, we can't lift it," Gwaine panted, resting for a moment with his back braced against his few inches of the side of the table.

"Gwaine, we've moved it two feet, you can't possibly be tired," Leon said, and he and Lancelot gave the table a shove, pushing it out from behind Gwaine, who nearly went sprawling.

"I think it needs to go left. No, other left."

"That's right, Merlin."

"No it's not, it's my left. Now you're about to run into that cart."

"To the right, or the left?"

"Left! No- right! Your right!" Merlin said, the volume of his voice increasing as they nearly rolled the table into a cart.

"Merlin?" Gwaine asked.

"What?"

"Stop helping."

Merlin stepped aside to avoid the table and they rolled it on past him. He followed, kicking a little rock up the hill and hovering anxiously, until Leon very politely suggested he go around front and make sure they didn't run in to any carts, which only caused Merlin to mutter under his breath about indecisive knights.

He had turned around to look at the table and make sure it was still going straight when he saw the corner of a cloak as it whipped around a building. Not ten minutes later, he saw the same cloak as the woman wearing it crossed the road up ahead of them. Without a word, he went after her, leaving the knights to figure the table out on their own for a minute. Why was someone wearing a cloak like that following them around? He knew someone who made a habit of doing that, and she wasn't anyone he particularly wanted to see… well, ever, but especially in Camelot.

When she discovered she was being followed, the cloaked woman led him through a maze of little-used sidestreets, and then stopped and turned around, flinging the hood off and raising a finger angrily to scold her tagalong.

"Gw- My lady?" Merlin yelped, and her scowl turned into a bright grin.

"Merlin! How are you?" she asked, and then wrinkled her nose at him, "And I told you before, you don't need to call me that," she laughed.

"I- er- fine, but… what are you doing here? Where's Arthur?" he asked, and added, "And you're the queen, you should get used to it."

"But not from my friends, so please, stop," she said good-naturedly. Then she waved her hand back the direction they'd come from, which included most of the city. "Oh, I don't know. He put on that suit of armor ones of the lords or other gave him as a wedding gift and left me at the gate to town. Something about seeing how things were going in Camelot while he was gone," she said, shaking her head.

"I know we're a few days early, but, well, we were both tired of being gone. We wanted to surprise you and Leon and Gwaine! Are they getting on alright?" she asked pleasantly, while Merlin did some quick thinking and put two and two together. If Arthur was impersonating a plain knight and not wearing his own armor…

"Oh no."

"What? Is something wrong?"

"Yes. Uh, no. No, but I have to go. You're fine making it to the castle?" he asked.

"Merlin, I grew up here. Go on, go deal with whatever you're so worried about," she said, pulling the cloak up and squeezing his shoulder with a hand before she turned around and went around a corner. At which point Merlin had to find his way back to the main street. He needed to tell the knights that Arthur was back before he stumbled upon them and found out about the table!

…

This was ridiculous, trying to push this blasted thing up the blasted hill! *Again*! Leon tried to blow a rogue curl out of his face while Gwaine fussed with his gloves.

"Are you finished?" he panted.

"Perfection takes time," Gwaine said, adjusting the buckles.

Leon rolled his eyes and glanced back at the sorry distance that they made so far—about ten yards. There was a very suspicious looking dent in the lower town's wall because of it. Gwaine said it would be covered easily enough with some hay and a few planks of wood. Now it wasn't so much concealed as framed.

Oh, Arthur would *love* that….

Gwaine decided he needed to tighten his bootstraps as well, and as he was fiddling about with them Percival and Elyan rode up. "We'll take it for a bit, Leon," Percival said with a grin, taking half of the table's weight almost effortlessly. Leon thanked him for a break backed off as Elyan helped him, and tried to rub some life back into his arm. As he did he happened to notice a man in a red tunic and helmet standing at the outdoor bar in front of one of the taverns, enjoying a pint.

"Who do you reckon that is?" Leon asked Gwaine, who had just finished with his boots.

Gwaine shrugged. "One of the day watch guards? I thought they were meant to be scrubbing the great hall down today."

"They were," Leon said. Trying to keep the smile off his face, he shouted across at the helmeted guard.

"A bit far from the Great Hall, aren't you?"

The barkeep scurried off, leaving the hapless guard alone at the bar. The guard looked around frantically, hoping that Leon was talking to someone else.

"Yes, you! Come here!"

The guard shifted from foot to foot, apparently unsure of what to do.

"Now, soldier!"

The guard stumbled forward, while the knights behind him tried to keep from giggling. Gwaine gave a sophomoric whoop that made the guard blush to his cheekbones, which were just visible over the helmet's visor.

"It's just as well." Leon said, looking the guard up and down." You can help us push this thing back up to the castle. Just count yourself lucky that Arthur didn't see you taking the day off."

Gwaine, doing much worse at hiding his grin, clapped in the guard's face. "Now, soldier, he doesn't mean when you feel like it!"

The guard, still obviously embarrassed, gave the table a tentative push.

"That's no way to do it!" Merlin added, shoving him to the back where the table was heaviest. "We don't want to take all day!"

A laugh escaped Leon's lips at Merlin's eagerness to join in with tormenting the guard who had picked the wrong day to skip out on his duties, but he tried to cover it with a cough. The table was still heavy, and as they pushed it back to the castle the knights' joviality waned. The guard, with a stroke of foresight, had left his helmet on so that Leon would not have to tell Arthur who it was, but it was giving him a bit of trouble, and the edge of the table kept knocking it sideways every time it jostled. Merlin seemed to be the only one having a great time as they toiled on, perhaps because he was too busy leaping about harassing the poor guard. Leon, knowing that the guard deserved every bit of it, tolerated Merlin's playful abuse, having his hands full with the table anyway. Still, he really had to protest when Merlin found a broom and smacked the guard on the backside with it, shouting, "Step up!" and clicking his tongue as if to a horse. Leon pulled Merlin aside.

"You can let him alone, Merlin, he was only having a drink," Leon whispered.

"Oh, no!" Merlin replied, his brow knotted with earnestness. "It's like you said. These soldiers never had a proper day's work in their lives!" And with that Merlin grinned and gave the guard another smack on the rear end. Leon sighed and rejoined them, putting his shoulder a bit lower than the guard's so that it took a bit more of the weight off.

"Won't go wandering off again any time soon, will you?" Leon said under his breath as Merlin bounded off to open a gate in front of them.

"No, sir!" the guard said.

"See that you don't—or you might have to rub elbows with Merlin there."

"I do enough of that already!"

Leon knotted his brow at that, but he shrugged it off and kept pushing.

…

"Christ, that was a journey!" Gwaine said, once they'd gotten the table settled in its former location—though hardly to its former glory. He plopped himself down in a seat and propped his feet on the table. "I could use a drink!"

"Yeah, you may have been sober for nearly two hours, there, Gwaine, you'd better get on that," Merlin joked.

Gwaine looked shocked. "Dear God, two _hours_? I better start drinking _now_if the Princess and his Queen are due back tomorrow!" he winked, but didn't move, more interested in rest than making good on that drink.

Gwaine observed the table. Aside from being an annoyingly heavy lump of rock, it meant a lot to him, as far as _things_ever could to a transient like him. More than his knighthood, it had marked the first time any nobleman had ever trusted Gwaine as much as he had trusted a nobleman—which hadn't necessarily been much, then, but it was an improvement on nothing.

Merlin had explained the words on the table to him: reading was hard enough (though he got on well enough, and never admitted this), so the archaic tongue—the language of the old religion-was quite beyond him. The seat Arthur took was _bretwalda_, "the chief king." He had taken that seat at random the first time, though something told Gwaine (besides Merlin, who had an unhealthy obsession with destiny) it was not coincidence. At his left sat _eádlufe_, "eternal love" or something sappy, for Gwen to sit at; and at his right, _drýlác_, "magic," for Merlin, which was all kinds of ironic that Gwaine found hilarious.

There was no head at the round table, which Gwaine liked. It made everyone equal, whether they liked it or not. He glanced at where he was sitting, finding himself, quite by accident, or happy design, at _mægen_, "strength." Really he felt awkward sitting here—this should surely be Percy's seat, strong as that boy was-but then that weird dwarf at the bridge had named him "Strength" as if that meant something—and anyway Percival wasn't exactly out of place standing at the seat for "modesty," _sceamu_. Next to his seat was _rǽsbora_, which was maybe "wise counsellor" or something, where Gaius had stood that fateful day, though he presumably had better things to do today. The next seat over was _ellenweorc_, "courage-work," where Elyan was standing, although Gwaine wasn't sure why; the next seat over was _sóþfæst_, "fidelity," which Lancelot sat at in all his obnoxious perfection. Finally, Sir Leon, on Merlin's other side, was now bent over the seat with _aeþeling_, "prince" written on it, trying not to look like he was catching his breath.

Gwaine wasn't normally the sentimental type, but this was beautiful.

That was, until the random day watch removed his helmet.

Leon was the first to notice. "Sire!" and he dropped to a knee.

Gwaine looked up, and fell out of his chair.

"Arthur?" he squeaked, scrambling to his feet before he got indignant. "You were _spying _on us?" Gwaine noticed that he and Merlin were the only ones who hadn't taken a knee. But he bloody well wanted an explanation first! "You said you weren't back til tomorrow! The feast isn't ready! The table was supposed to be a surprise! I'm still _sober_!" he cried, as if this last was the greatest of the problems with the King's early arrival.

"Are you quite through, Gwaine?" Arthur was grinding his teeth slightly. Now Gwaine thought he understood why Merlin had been harassing the "random" guard, and he flashed Merlin an if-we-survive-this-and-there's-anything-left-after-Arthur's-through-with-you-I-_owe_-you glare.

Gwaine at least had the self-preservation to shut up and look penitent, though he remained standing, beginning to feel he stuck out like a sore thumb but in no way was planning on feeding the Princess' ego more than it already was.

When Gwen entered the room, however, gliding to Arthur's side (and standing before her destined seat at the round table), _then_Gwaine felt stupid being the last one standing, and he knelt with the rest of the knights.

Merlin still stood, grinning like an oaf.

"I arrived early by design," Arthur began, "in order to discover how my stewards and my knights were guarding the kingdom in my absence." For a fleeting moment of panic Gwaine wondered exactly when Arthur and Gwen had arrived, because if it had been before last night and they experienced any of the shenanigans as a result of the cursed castle he knew for a fact that _they_would be blamed, and that would piss him right the hell off.

"And I can hardly say I'm surprised to find Camelot in her current state…"

Somewhere around this point Gwaine tuned him out. He'd gladly kill for Arthur, and he maybe even wouldn't mind dying for him, but the man was a complete prat. So Gwaine missed whatever it was Arthur scolded them about until Gwen put her hand softly on his arm, and Arthur physically relaxed, sighed, and started again:

"…Which is to say, while your immediate attention to the aesthetic might leave something to be desired, I suppose I can put that down to whatever you have planned for tomorrow. Camelot's knights, soldiers, staff, and people, however, have never looked more content. Sir Gwaine, Sir Leon."

Leon stood, and Gwaine followed suit.

"I asked around concerning your leadership, and have heard nothing but praise for your handling of the kingdom in my absence. You have deflected threats from all directions, and kept the castle well. No man nor woman within the walls could speak ill of you." Although the words were sincere, Gwaine couldn't help but detect a slight air of 'At least you didn't burn the house down,' though he was probably imagining it. "For your good stewardship, Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine, you shall be handsomely rewarded." Then, almost as an afterthought, "Arise, knights of Camelot."

A servant entered with wine. "A toast," Gwen suggested—_the Queen_suggested!—taking a goblet in her hand.

"If I may, milady," Leon asked, and, when she nodded, in his loud speech-voice, said, "Long live King Arthur and Queen Guinevere!"

"Long live King Arthur and Queen Guinevere!" the knights chorused back.

There was a solemn, heavy moment in which Arthur, his knights, his wife and his servant, stood at the round table at their ordained places. Gwaine felt it his duty to cheapen the moment.

"So does this mean I'm off the hook? _That's_ something I can drink to!" he said, and quaffed the last of his wine.


	18. Chapter 18

**A. N. ("Arthur's Notes"): **The epilogue! We hope you've liked reading this as much as we have liked writing it! We love comments! Join us for the third episode of 'Merlin and the Friday Knights' series, "A Dish Best Served Cold", which will be posted by May Glenn! (She is listed in my favorite authors and the story will show up in my favorite stories!)

**WARNINGS**: Sexual content, violence, and strong language slightly amped up from what you'd expect from Merlin, but nothing serious. There will eventually in the series be a gay relationship, but otherwise no slash.

Previous Stories:

The Odd Couple: The Adventures of Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine (May Glenn), The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship (May Glenn)

…

**FRIDAY KNIGHTS: THE UNQUIET CASTLE**

_Gwaine and Leon are starting to get the hang of running Camelot while Arthur is gone. How will the knights react when the castle itself begins to rebel against them? Meanwhile, Gwaine begins his quest to unite Leon and Lady Elaine in holy matrimony-or at least in a double-date._

…

A couple of days passed, and Leon took a break from getting the castle ready for the welcome-home festivities by leaning against the north wall of Camelot. It felt good to lean against the familiar stone happy that the castle was back to normal.

"Hallo!"

Leon looked up to see Merlin leaning out of a window above him. Leon waved. "Have you seen Gwaine?" he asked.

"Umm no, why?"

"He told me to meet him here."

"When I finish here I'll have a look for him."

"Thanks."

Merlin ducked out of sight, and Leon went back to watching the birds, listening to the breeze and the faint sound of market day in the lower town. He took a deep breath and gave a sigh generally feeling very good about everything. They saved Camelot, put everything back in order, and best of all, Arthur had returned and everything had gone back to normal.

At least, as normal as things got around Camelot.

Leon was in such a good mood that he didn't feel half as awkward as he should have when he saw Lady Elaine approaching from around the corner, carrying a basket and looking picturesque against the trees behind her. They hadn't spoken or even met since the disastrous dinner. He bowed his head and she smiled at him.

"I understand the Round Table has found its way back home again at last!" she said as she approached.

"Hmm? Oh—yes!" Leon said, and found himself almost smiling.

She raised an eyebrow. "I hope it doesn't give you any more trouble by escaping again."

"Don't worry," Leon said, and added with feigned seriousness, "I think we've got it pretty well-guarded now."

She laughed. "Its seems like you knights have all had a bit of an adventure!"

"Indeed," Leon found himself laughing along, because when you thought about it, the whole thing really was pretty spectacular. "Mystery and mayhem, the lot of it."

"I'd like to hear about it sometime."

He just giggled. Strange how this feeling of triumph made it very easy to talk to her. He happened to glance down and notice her basket was filled with flowers. "Can I help you with anything, my lady?"

She shrugged and looked around. "I'm looking for honeysuckle. Merlin told me there were some growing out here." She shrugged. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, I was just going to meet Gwaine…for…" he stopped, realizing that neither he nor Elaine were here by accident, and that Merlin was probably still within earshot, and that Gwaine wasn't planning on meeting him at all. This appeared to be the last desperate and shallow attempt to get him and Elaine together. They were probably hiding at the window above them right now, listening to everything they were saying and laughing their heads off. But—well, they were well-meaning at least. And getting a chance (albeit a calculated chance) to talk to her alone wasn't really so terrible.

Wow, he was *really* in a good mood…

"…For what?" Elaine asked.

"…Something. Later. Not important." He cast his eyes around, and to his happy surprise he found one honeysuckle blooming in between two stones of the castle wall. He plucked it out and held it out to her, their fingers brushing for a moment. A robin twittered somewhere nearby, making fine accompaniment to the pounding of his heart. The silence between them didn't sound as embarrassing as it did peaceful. It felt like nothing would go wrong.

"You hardly spoke at all at dinner."

Ah. Of course, something always could go wrong.

He cleared his throat. "Listen, about that…"

"Was there something wrong?"

"No, my lady," Leon stammered, his mind racing for an excuse. "I just trying to"—his throat was suddenly dry—"be polite, you know."

She smiled. "It's alright to be shy."

"I'm not shy," Leon protested, though it was perfectly true. "I don't ramble on like other people. I would rather speak carefully than say something I regretted."

"Oh." She stopped. "Do I talk too much?"

Leon shook his head quickly. "No, of course not!" he said. "That's not what I meant at all. What I mean –is—"

"You're shy."

He stared at her for a moment, then blinked and looked down. Merlin and Gwaine were probably having a field day right now. He could swear he heard snickering from above.

"Sir Leon, you do yourself a disservice," she said. She took his hand, coming quite close to him as she added almost conspiratorially, "But if we talked a bit more often, we might become friends." And with that she lifted his hand to her perfect lips, and kissed his knuckles.

Leon felt himself go wobbly, and he had to step back to keep from falling over. She just smiled and turned away, walking on across the field.

Leon rubbed his beard with the backs of his knuckles where she kissed him, standing silent and still for a moment. He could still smell the honeysuckle on his fingers.

Well, they would never say of Leon that he was a coward.

He jogged a few steps to catch up with her. "The Round Table wasn't exactly the problem. It all started when we moved the Round Table inside…"

As they walked along he glanced back at the window, and sure enough, Merlin was standing there watching. He could see that Merlin was grinning broadly.

Leon tried not to lose his train of thought.

…

"What's happening?"

Merlin set down the spell book, open at "Spell 3257: How to Make Flowers Grow Right When You Need Them". He peeked out the window. "Well, he's seen it, and given it to her. Now they're just talking again. I hope she didn't forget to—oh, there she goes!"

"What? What'd she do?"

Merlin put his head to one side. "Aww, she kissed him on the hand. _That_ is a true lady."

"Let me see!"

Merlin pushed Gwaine back from the window. "No, if Leon sees you he'll have an excuse to leave!" Gwaine looked at him as if he might just move him out of the way and look out the window anyway, and then he thought better of it.

"I guess you're right. What a pussy cat he is…" he said, and went back to sitting on a chest that'd been hastily shoved against a wall as one of the rooms was cleaned. For just a split second, Merlin considered a spell that would move the chest a couple of inches all on its own. Then he reconsidered, because either Gwaine would squeal like a girl and everyone would hear them, or he'd chase him down and shove him into a bush or a small puddle. So he turned back to the window instead.

"Now she's walking away. Come on, Leon, come on! Ah, yes! He's following her!" Merlin turned to Gwaine. "See? Didn't I tell you he just needs some time alone with her to get some confidence?"

"No, this just shows that Leon needs help from us both if he's going to make any headway with her."

"And what makes you the expert?" Merlin asked, thinking Gwaine was maybe being a bit unfair. Gwaine said nothing, but gave him a "did-you-really-just-ask-that-question" look. Merlin just rolled his eyes and turned back to the window, and heard Gwaine gasp.

"What?" he asked, turning halfway around. His friend's face was mixed astonishment and horror, and he froze, wondering what was wrong.

"Merlin, don't move. There's a huge scorpion on the back of your shirt," Gwaine said. As Merlin turned his head gingerly to see if he could see anything over his shoulder, Gwaine motioned frantically at him to stop. Merlin didn't like scorpions. It might have had to do with the giant ones that'd tried to kill him, but really that'd just been the icing on the "I hate scorpions" cake. He froze absolutely still.

"Well, get it off!" he squeaked. Gwaine stepped slowly across the hall and looked at Merlin's back.

"There is no way I can touch that. Just stay here, I'll go get something to hit it off. Don't move!" he reminded Merlin, and then went running down off the hall for help.

An hour later, Merlin finally worked up the courage to walk very slowly to a mirror in the hall and turn so he could see the monster scorpion that was apparently attached to his shirt. There was, of course, nothing. Probably irritated by being kept away from the window, Gwaine had clearly made it up, and was doubtless hanging around somewhere nearby just waiting to see how long it took Merlin to figure it out. Merlin shook his head. Yes, everything was back to just as normal as it ever was.

_THE END_

_**Follow the further adventures of Merlin and the Friday Knights in Episode 3: "A Dish Best Served Cold", to be posted by May Glenn! Thanks for reading!**_


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